Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site hou5a.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxj!houxm!vax135!ariel!hou5f!hou5e!hou5d!hou5a!hbb
From: hbb@hou5a.UUCP (H.B.Braude)
Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish
Subject: roundabout question regarding "onaat devarim"
Message-ID: <626@hou5a.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 19-Nov-84 11:29:42 EST
Article-I.D.: hou5a.626
Posted: Mon Nov 19 11:29:42 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 20-Nov-84 03:10:37 EST
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Holmdel, NJ
Lines: 32

[The 1st attempt at posting this didn't work.]

There is a halacha that I was told in  the  name  of  the  Mishna
Brurah, obligating one  to close a window in a room where someone
in that room feels uncomfortable due to the cold   outside   air.
This  ruling  would apply  even  if there was only one person who
was bothered by the cold   weather  among   several  people.   In
fact,   according  to  this halacha,  if   the other people would
feel bothered by the window being closed (they're too  hot,)  the
window would still have to be closed.

My question is whether the same logic would  apply  to  something
called  "Onaat  Devarim" - a prohibition against saying something
to someone that will make that person feel bad. If a person would
be categorized  as  being over-sensitive  (by comparison to other
people in the society who would  not  be  offended  were  similar
comments  made to them,)  would one  be required to control one's
tongue to conform to the social norm or to that of the particular
individual?  (The connection is that the person the Mishna Brurah
discusses  is physically  sensitive,  while in the other case the
person is emotionally sensitive.)

By the way, the giving of "Musar" (moral instruction?) would  not
constitute     "Onaat    Devarim"   even  were  the  recipient to
dislike the criticism,  due to the special statement in the Torah
of "hochayach tocheeyach et amitecha" (obligating each  person to 
instruct his/her fellow if/when they err.)

Thanks for any insight you can offer.
-- 
Harlan B. Braude
{most "backbone" sites}!hou5a!hbb