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From: williams@kirk.DEC (John Williams 223-3402)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Thanks for the memories
Message-ID: <40@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 14-Nov-84 15:56:14 EST
Article-I.D.: decwrl.40
Posted: Wed Nov 14 15:56:14 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Nov-84 01:44:55 EST
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 49



	I want to remember. This little sentence has been for me 
a guide to all my relationships. I understand how my conscience 
works and act accordingly. Although I have never been successful 
to the point of marriage, I can still think back and recall the 
people I have encountered, and the way in which they have touched 
my life. I have found more often than not that reason tends to 
get in the way. I try nowadays to put my rational more into an 
insignificant position. It is tempting sometimes to think that 
one strength is better than another, but I don't think so. I 
think it is only the ego rationalizing. The fact that in 
relationships you become more and more intimate with the ego 
makes it that much harder to reason accurately.

	It is easy to use evolution as a reason for a 
relationship to continue, but somehow it always seems that it is 
you who is the fittest to survive. I guess that's natural. I find 
these reasons silly. And who knows the guises of jealousy? You 
could rationalize anything at any given moment. But when all has 
been said and done, will you remember them? I guess what this all 
means is that I act more often not on rational, but on what I 
believe I will remember about the incident. It is only the 
painful memories that obstruct ones vision and prevent people 
from learning from their mistakes. I think this is how alot of 
intelligent people keep missing the obvious. Chances are that if 
you have problems with relationships, it's not something you 
haven't thought of, it's something you've failed to notice.

	This brings me to sensitivity. Yeah, being sensitive can 
be painful at times. Especially when dealing with someone who 
ignores observation in favor of rational. It's a risk. Remember, 
your partner has an ego, too. You have to trust your feelings.
Feelings are less likely to come from words as they are from the 
eyes, inflections, and gestures that are so hard to describe. 
It's funny, feelings are the hardest to define, they are open to 
the wildest speculation, but they are the things of which you have
the best recollection. They often steer your memory.

	Which brings me back to memory. I want to remember.

				----{ john williams }----

		< Judge for yourself >

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