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From: ables@cyb-eng.UUCP (King Ables)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Confused by Ambiguous Signals
Message-ID: <460@cyb-eng.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 19-Nov-84 09:49:51 EST
Article-I.D.: cyb-eng.460
Posted: Mon Nov 19 09:49:51 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 21-Nov-84 08:52:47 EST
References: <1321@sdcc7.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: Cyb Systems, Austin, TX
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Re: Victor 

I think the only way to really satisfy yourself about your problem
is to sit her down and lay it all out (I know, it's hard).  "Force"
her to go to lunch or for a snack in between classes or something.
Tell her you are flexible about the relation/friend-ship (that you
at least want a friend and if that's all it can be, you can handle it).

I knew a girl my freshman year in college that was like this (except
I couldn't get her to go out with me at all).  Some days she would
act like we'd known each other for years and we'd talk and be really
close.  We'd talk about her family/roomate/other-personal problems 
and ask my opinions, and she'd be interested in mine.  Other days
she'd be as cold as ice, like we didn't even know each other.
I still wish I knew what was going on inside here head.
I finally decided she was a little nuts and gave up.  I later found out,
through a mutual friend, that she had a boyfriend at another university
up road and that kind of irritated me (that we had gotten so close, at
least some of the time, and she didn't let me know).  I can't believe
she didn't realize I was interested in her, I made a fool of myself
falling all over her.  Maybe I scared her, but if I did, she didn't
show it.  Then again, I could have been (and still could be) such a
klutz, that she'd go home and laugh herself to sleep every night.

In my case, I think it's just as well for me that I gave up, but there's
that little nagging corner of me that will always wonder.  I think I'd
have rather known for sure and be a little more disappointed than to 
wonder every now and then (it's been 6 years).

I'm sure your friends tell you to take more chances.  Mine always did
and still do.  With perfect hindsight, I think I could advise you to
make her tell you how she really feels or doesn't feel.  If you're
scaring her off with romance that she doesn't want, and you can handle
just a friendship, then she ought to be willing.  'Course, then you have
to compete for her time on an equal basis with her other friends instead
of having a natural edge.

Then again, I may not know what the hell I'm talking about, 
it's been known to happen...

-King
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