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From: beth@umcp-cs.UUCP (Beth Katz)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.flame
Subject: Re: Morley Safer on Burning Brides
Message-ID: <1140@umcp-cs.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 16-Nov-84 12:36:39 EST
Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.1140
Posted: Fri Nov 16 12:36:39 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Nov-84 20:11:00 EST
Organization: U of Maryland, Computer Science Dept., College Park, MD
Lines: 47

I guess the person who decided to flame my comments about the burning
bride issue decided to send this to net.flame as well.  I don't read
that anymore, but I guess I should followup there as well.

I made some initial comments where I mentioned that burning brides in
New Delhi was "almost socially acceptable."  I'd like to stress the
"almost."  When the police don't prosecute, when some parents accept it
as a given, and when the neighbors won't intervene even when they see it
happen, I think it verges on being "socially acceptable."  Although it
is by no means of the same magnitude, it's like drunk driving.  I think
it is deplorable.  I realize that it doesn't happen everywhere in India,
and I realize that India is a big place.  ( As an aside, I just looked
up the population of New Delhi in a dictionary that appears to be about
ten years old [sorry, it's all I have here].  New Delhi had 324,000 or so
people then.  Waahington DC had 760,000 or so people.  Even if New Delhi
has doubled in size, it is about the size of DC.  I don't know how many
rapes occur in DC in a day, but murders generally are still reported as
they occur.  Two burnings a day would still be quite a few and would
definitely constitute a problem.) I also realize that not all or
even most marriages in India are arranged.  But a heck of a lot more
marriages are arranged in India than are arranged in America.  I don't
think that all marriages that are made for love in either America or India
are always going to be filled with love.  I don't know anything about the
divorce rate or whether divorce is allowed in India.  Like any reasonable
person, I deplore rape, burning of brides, child abuse, and all other
abuse of people.  I just thought that this was a particularly nasty thing
that had become an expected way of life/death for some people.

I will stick by my guns about being happy to live in America.  No matter
how bad it is here (and yes, we have a lot of problems), we (okay, I'll
include Europe for the most part and maybe Japan) are much better off
than the majority of the people in the world.  Maybe women aren't free to
do everything they want to do, but they can do quite a bit.  For the most
part, I think I am accepted and treated as a person first and a woman
second.  I don't feel as though I will be expected to be subserviant to
my husband.  We are equals.  Maybe a good portion of the women in America
don't feel that way, but I sure wouldn't trade my life here for that in
many other countries.

I thought I was trying to say, in my first message, that the burning of
brides issue made some of the problems we face pale by comparison.  It
certainly seems to be a big problem in New Delhi.

{I'm going away for Thanksgiving; I'll answer any mail and read news
when I return in a week.}
					Beth Katz
					{seismo,allegra,rlgvax}!umcp-cs!beth