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From: barryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Barry Gold)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.flame
Subject: Re: honorifics
Message-ID: <1715@sdcrdcf.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 26-Jan-85 08:24:09 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcrdcf.1715
Posted: Sat Jan 26 08:24:09 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 28-Jan-85 04:44:17 EST
References: <1680@sdcrdcf.UUCP> <2262@randvax.UUCP> <1705@sdcrdcf.UUCP> <74@rti-sel.UUCP>
Reply-To: barryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Barry Gold)
Distribution: net
Organization: System Development Corp. R+D, Santa Monica
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Xref: watmath net.women:4262 net.flame:8076
Summary: 

Milord and Milady may have been good for the old Normans, but few of us
speak Middle English any more (OR use the British class structure).  (An
acquaintance of mine was in London and had a native push her out of the way
to get on a bus.  "You're no gentleman," she said.  "Blimey, of course not,"
he replied.")  Nowadays Milord/Milady sound as if the speaker is putting
you up on a pedestal, an awkward position from which to operate effectively.

In any case, I DON'T want to receive form letters addressed "Dear Milord or
Milady."  (And I ESPECIALLY don't want to receive letters addressed "Dear
Milord," given I happen to be female.  I'd like an all-gender honorific.)

In my own informal way, I sometimes address letters to recipients of
unknown sex (e.g. complaint letters) to "Dear People."  And of course there's
the old "To Whom It May Concern."  But both of those imply you don't know
the person's name, rather than knowing the name but being unsure (and really
not giving a damn) about the person's sex.  A third option is to use
"honorable" (e.g. To the Honorable Lee Gold).  Yes, I know this has a specific
meaning within the British rank system, but again that shouldn't bother most
of us too much.  (And after repeated complaint letters, it could be fun to
address the thing off to "Undear Dishonorable [Name].")

--Lee Gold