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From: graham@shark.UUCP (Graham Bromley)
Newsgroups: net.politics
Subject: gun control - a sarcastic tirade (you've been warned)
Message-ID: <1227@shark.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 24-Jan-85 13:29:17 EST
Article-I.D.: shark.1227
Posted: Thu Jan 24 13:29:17 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 25-Jan-85 21:57:19 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: Tektronix, Wilsonville OR
Lines: 76

Here's why:

1. About two hundred years ago some narrow minded politicians
   in the British government treated the American colonists 
   very unfairly. So they said, "we've had enough of this 'ere 
   nonsense", and booted the Brits out.

2. To prevent a repetition of the above, an article of
   the Constitution guaranteed the right of all Americans to 
   keep and bear arms; something to do with the need to maintain 
   a civil militia to guard against foreign enemies. Use of guns 
   against fellow Americans was not suggested.

3. Lots of people bought guns.

4. Gun manufacturers made lots of money making guns.

5. Amazingly, the number of people shot to death each year 
   continued to increase.

6. People who like to own guns founded societies to further
   their interests.

7. Repeat items 3, 4 and 5.

8. The invention of programming languages made possible the
   expression of a new and revolutionary idea:
   if (people haven't got guns) {
       people can't shoot each other;
   }
   Brilliant! "We've had enough of this nonsense. Let's ban 
   guns!" said the revolutionaries.

9. Gun companies didn't like this at all (profits, m'boy) -
   and unlike the British government of the 1770's they
   are smart.  So they got together with societies described 
   in item 6., and effected powerful special interest lobbying
   to obstruct gun control. "The Constitution says Americans 
   need guns to protect against the commies and them nasty 
   Brits" they said. Its the 1980's now, not the 1770's, but
   this miraculously goes unnoticed. "If those commies 
   come over here dropping nukes, I'll pull out my Smith 
   & Wesson and let 'em have it!". "Look what those Brits did 
   to the Argentines in the Falklands. It'll be our turn next!".

10.Repeat items 3, 4 and 5, ad nauseam.

    Too bad the Constitution contains that anachronism about 
militias; guns would have been banned long ago otherwise, as 
they have in every other society which had a serious crime 
problem. The founding fathers might be appalled to see the
results of their good intent today.

    This is a democratic society, but the majority of people 
are often powerless against the special interest groups. They 
are organized; they have money and political clout.

    The special interest groups couldn't care less how many
people are killed by guns every year; it could be a million
for all the difference it would make.

    What to do?

1. Don't worry about about it. Only 12000 people are killed
   each year by hanguns in the U.S. In a population of about
   250 million, the chance of No. 1 being hurt is after all
   small. If the 12000 does't include me, why should I care?

2. Buy guns for yourself, your wife and your children, and 
   learn how to use them. But you'll have to carry them at all 
   times if you seriously intend to defend yourselves. And despite 
   the Constitutional guarantee of the right to keep AND BEAR 
   arms, it is strictly illegal to carry a gun in almost every
   state.

3. Emigrate. No other country in the world knows this madness.