Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxj!houxm!ihnp4!nsc!chuqui
From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: any LDR's out there??? (long distance relationships)
Message-ID: <2280@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 26-Jan-85 04:32:35 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.2280
Posted: Sat Jan 26 04:32:35 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 27-Jan-85 07:30:31 EST
References: <145@ihdev.UUCP> <2240@nsc.UUCP> <1045@opus.UUCP>
Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuqui)
Organization: The Warlocks Cave
Lines: 43
Summary: 

>> As to advice, LDR's are extremely nasty things that I wouldn't wish on
>> anybody. Unfortunately, it seems that the people involved in them certainly
>> weren't looking for them...
>
>Well, granted that most people don't go out of their way ("I'm sorry, dear,
>but you just live too close for it ever to work out...":-),
Well, my mother's accused me of this-- when you realize I've only had one
date in the last year that wasn't at least 400 miles away, there might be
some validity to this... *grin* (you mean there isn't a SINGLE attractive
woman in the Bay area???? There are, maw, just not my type...)

>they still aren't
>all that nasty.  They can give you an opportunity to talk and find out a
>lot of things--the distance can FORCE you to learn things about one another
>that you wouldn't have the time to learn otherwise.  It can also keep you
>from acting too precipitously in making a permanent commitment.  Frankly,
>if you can't surmount the problem of an LDR, you may have some insurmount-
>able problems anyway.

True, true, true, and true. The problem is that they take a LOT of work and
I've found that most people aren't willing or able to put that kind of
effort into it.

>> I have yet to see a relationship flourish with distance,...
>
>Hmmm, mine did...

Dick and I may simply be defining flourish differently. I'm involved in an
LDR (ack, another acronmym.. (YAA? nah....)) that I've very satisfied with,
and which is moving in the directions we both feel it should, but I also
realize that there are parts of the relationship that are missing because
of the distance. It DOES help you learn about many of the things that are
important for long term relationships to succeed, but other equally
important parts of the relationship stagnate. For an LDR to really
flourish, the LD must vanish.

chuq
-- 
From the ministry of silly talks:               Chuq Von Rospach
{allegra,cbosgd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

National Semiconductor does not require useless disclaimers on posted
material that is obviously not posted by company spokesmen...