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From: mat@hou4b.UUCP (Mark Terribile)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Living in sin?
Message-ID: <1304@hou4b.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 30-Jan-85 12:59:54 EST
Article-I.D.: hou4b.1304
Posted: Wed Jan 30 12:59:54 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 31-Jan-85 02:42:05 EST
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Xref: watmath net.singles:5689 net.social:432

> I think that the reason that there are bad marriages are becuase the people
> didn't get married because they really loved each other and were willing to
> commit themselves to each other "for better and for worse", "in sickness and
> in health", "till death do they part".  I mean, face it, those are the marr-
> iage vows if you were married by a priest or minister, and if you really be-
> lieve marriage to be the sacred bond that it is you will work to make those
> vows work.

Well, like it or not we do things for reasons.  it may be more useful to ask
``what circumstances cause marriages to fail'' and what we can do about it.

I'd like to offer a suggestion that comes, in part, from Ouchi's ``Theory Z''.

We may be asking too much of marriage.

In previous times, when you married you married into a family as much as
you married an individual.  The parents were a couple of miles (at most)
away.  The smaller, less institutional workplace and the NEED to depend upon
the whole extended family (on the farm) or one's contacts in the community
(in the small town) made relationships different from what they are today  ...
and with more limited expectations for the relationship of marriage and the
need to depend on others anyway caused fewer marriages to dissappoint so
miserably.

I'm not a sociologist, so please feel free to take me to task on this.
-- 

	from Mole End			Mark Terribile
		(scrape .. dig )	hou4b!mat
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