Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83 based; site houxm.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!cbosgd!cbdkc1!desoto!packard!edsel!bentley!hoxna!houxm!gregbo
From: gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: living together & marriage
Message-ID: <1120@houxm.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 1-Feb-85 17:58:15 EST
Article-I.D.: houxm.1120
Posted: Fri Feb  1 17:58:15 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Feb-85 14:27:41 EST
References: <412@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 55

You have misunderstood me, read my posting carefully.

> From: malik@helos.DEC (Karl Malik ZK01-1/F22 1-1440)

> Gregbo says -

>> Anyhow, I feel a real flame coming on, but I think I'll quit now.  But be-
>> fore I go let me say that no matter how much time you spend living together 
>> before you're married, unless you are really ready to *commit* yourself to 
>> the marriage, and to make it work, you could live together 500 years and 
>> your marriage still wouldn't work.
>>
>> Perhaps people who aren't ready to commit to marriage but enjoy living 
>> together should just live together.  Better not to marry at all than to 
>> marry and divorce, I think.  The number of divorces is just too high these
>> days.

> What makes you think living together is not a commitment?! To paraphrase
> you, 'People who are not ready to commit to living together should not
> live together'.

This should teach you never to paraphrase, but always quote.  (Christians take
heed.)

That is not what I said (and certainly not what I meant).  I said "if you
aren't ready to commit to *marriage*", not if you aren't ready to commit to
living together.  I was not even addressing the quesition of commitment to 
living together.

> The assumption that living together is a carefree, unserious arrangement
> is naive. Try it. Without serious work, it won't last 2 weeks.

Again, that's not what I was addressing.  Of course living together is serious!
That's part of marriage, and marriage is serious, therefore living together is
serious.  (qed)

> The day to day realities of living together are indistinguishable from
> marriage. 

On this I will disagree.  From what others have posted, the day to day reali-
ties of living together are not the same, because there is no commitment to
the continuation of the arrangement.  Any one of the people involved could
walk out at any time.  Today's marriages seem to be becoming like this.

> If you believe that there are differences, please state what they are.
> And WITHOUT using the word 'commitment', since the implication that
> people living together are frivolous is insulting (and wrong).

I have stated them above.  Like I said, read my article, then reread until you
understand exactly what I had to say, then post.
-- 
If you wanna ride, don't ride the white horse.

Greg Skinner (gregbo)
{allegra,cbosgd,ihnp4}!houxm!gregbo