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From: hopp@nbs-amrf.UUCP (Ted Hopp)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Putting small children to sleep
Message-ID: <370@nbs-amrf.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 18-Jan-85 21:44:46 EST
Article-I.D.: nbs-amrf.370
Posted: Fri Jan 18 21:44:46 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Jan-85 08:37:18 EST
References: <109@spp3.UUCP>
Organization: National Bureau of Standards
Lines: 50

We are going through the same experience now with our 11 month old son
Aaron (our first child), and what we are doing seems to be working.
Until he was 8 months old, my wife, Marsha, nursed him to go to sleep.
She moved up the evening nursing to before bedtime and at bedtime we
found we could rock Aaron to sleep without any "props", although it
took him about 2 weeks to get into the habit of going to sleep easily
this way.  (He would squirm and want to play, rather than relax and
drift off.)  We were careful to use the same routine for his naps and
to keep the same routine every day.  The key was to use the routine to
give him a sense of security and confidence in what was happening.

About a month ago, we started putting him into his crib before he was
asleep and staying with him until he went to sleep.  Again, there was a
fixed routine, and again, for a couple of weeks he didn't like the
change in routine.  The rule we observed was that once in the crib, he
didn't come out.

For the last couple of weeks, we have been leaving him before he goes
to sleep, but after he seems to be settling down.  He complains when
we leave the room, and we go back every couple of minutes to reassure
him that he isn't alone.  Initially, we had to go back half a dozen
times or so, but he seems to be getting used to this new routine.
Tonight is the first night we haven't had to go back in to calm him
down at all, although he has been going to sleep for his daytime naps
somewhat more easily.  (We kept the naptime routine more or less the
same as the nightime routine.)

About a week ago, we noticed that Aaron would go to sleep more easily
for Marsha than for me.  (He wouldn't accept my leaving the room
before he was asleep).  This wasn't something new, just something we
hadn't noticed before.  We think that was because I wasn't around
during the day to put him to bed for his naps, so he wasn't as
confident about being left alone by me.  That seems to be changing now
that I am participating in every "to bed" experience that I can.

Most of our ideas came from an excellent book by Penelope Leach, "Your
Baby & Child" (subtitle: From Birth to Age Five).  There is a section
on going to sleep for kids between 6 months and 1 year that explains
the reason that a routine (any routine) is so important, what it must
be like for the child to go through these new experiences, and in
general provided us with both good recommendations and a rationale for
the things she recommends.  She provides a positive view to this (and
other) potential problems that we found refreshing.  I strongly
recommend that you purchase this book.  Marsha and I both wish we had
read it before Aaron was born.  It would have helped with some of our
earlier frustrations in trying to understand him.

-- 

Ted Hopp	{seismo,umcp-cs}!nbs-amrf!hopp