Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site alice.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!alice!wolit From: wolit@alice.UUCP (Jan Wolitzky) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: "Spanking" Message-ID: <3349@alice.UUCP> Date: Tue, 29-Jan-85 09:55:42 EST Article-I.D.: alice.3349 Posted: Tue Jan 29 09:55:42 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 30-Jan-85 06:47:05 EST Organization: Bell Labs, Murray Hill Lines: 84 "Spanking" is a marvelous euphemism. When one adult strikes another, it's called "assault," or maybe just "hitting." We also call it "hitting" if one kid strikes another, and we condemn that, too (often, it seems from the responses here, by hitting HIM!). But an adult hitting his or her kid is just "spanking." Look, violence is violence. You wouldn't accept it if your neighbor hit you because you were doing something he didn't like. Hitting your kid is the same thing, exactly. "But that's different," you say. "I have to TEACH my kid." I'm sure that if your college, graduate, or professional school professor had raised a hand to you, you wouldn't have found that to be justified on these grounds. "No, I have to teach him DISCIPLINE!" Army drill instructors teach discipline, too. In fact, they are legendary for being rather harsh disciplinarians. And no one ever accused them of harboring the tender, loving feelings toward their charges that parents are assumed to have. Yet drill instructors are forbidden from striking recruits. "But family members aren't the same as strangers." You're not allowed to hit your spouse without facing criminal penalties and society's scorn. "But my kid's too young too listen to reason." And he's old enough to understand being assaulted? "How else can I get him to obey me?" You accept not being able to force everyone else in the world to submit to your will. (At least, I hope you do!) Why is your child any less privileged? "I provide for my kid's every need. That gives me the privilege of deciding how to raise him." Sounds like a description of a hostage situation, not a family. Prison convicts are also provided with food, clothing, and shelter, and, perhaps, have proven themselves unworthy of protection in a way that few misbehaving 4-year olds have; nonetheless, the guards and wardens are prohibited from hitting them. "Look buddy," you say, grasping at libertarian straws, "This is a personal, family matter. Butt out!" No, protection from physical violence is guaranteed by our society, at least in theory (even though, for some warped reason, society does seem to sanction child beating; more on this in a minute). It's odd, but I have a funny feeling that many of the people who want to be left alone on issues of the rights of their children are the same ones manning the barricades trying to "protect the rights" of children who haven't even been born... The sad fact is that our society denies children the basic human rights that we extend to everyone else. The recent Supreme Court decision bears this out: while authorities must have probable cause or a warrant to search you, your kids are subject to search at school on a teacher's simple suspicion that some rule -- even as minor or arbitrary as a dress code -- has been broken. Look at it another way: of all the members of our society, even including those charged with maintaining law and order -- police, prison guards, drill sergeants, etc. -- the only ones granted permission (by many states) to administer physical punishment to others are grade-school teachers. The same teachers reviled by many parents as the stupidest ("those who can, do..."), laziest, civil-service union hacks, are given this unique privilege, just because we think so little of the rights of our supposedly-beloved children. We teach our kids even when we don't intend to. Do we want to teach them that rights are determined by who has the physical power, that violence is a legitimate way to get someone to do what you want? "Spanking" -- child beating -- has been around for a long time, it's true: look at the world out there and see if we haven't reaped just what's been sown. -- Jan Wolitzky, AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill, NJ; (201) 582-2998