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From: chabot@amber.DEC (l s chabot)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Checking out the motos
Message-ID: <280@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 21-Jan-85 13:08:33 EST
Article-I.D.: decwrl.280
Posted: Mon Jan 21 13:08:33 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Jan-85 19:15:14 EST
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Rick Gillespie  ==  >
> Back in my undergrad days a friend of mine claimed that a woman looked a guy
> in the eyes to see where he was looking at her.  So, I started to look women
> directly in the eyes to see if this was true.  I was surprised to learn that I
> actually LIKE looking them in the eyes first (you know, window into the soul
> and all that :-)).  Too bad so many refuse to hold eye contact for longer than
> 3 pico-seconds.  My experiment continues ... 

Be careful extending this result to anything like "women don't like to sustain 
eye contact" or anything like this.  What you have seen is the normal behavior
while walking towards someone (in our culture,  anyway).  The pattern involves
two glances: one sort of to sight them, and a second to verify if you know them.
If you do know the person, and wish to exchange recognition (such as verbal
greetings), you sustain the eye contact.  If you don't know them, the customary
(and considered polite) thing to do is to look away, immediately.  If you don't
know them but wish to approach them, you keep looking too.  People who don't
know you but keep looking can usually be judged as falling into categories
such as 
	wanting to ask directions to some place
	staring at an abnormality like a gigantic green bug that's on your cheek
	solicitors (both commercial and religious (-: maybe stop carrying that
		clipboard and people won't think you're a scientologist :-) )
	predatory in some other way

Continuing to stare at someone may make them uncomfortable.  If they've broken
eye contact with you, they can't tell where you are now looking at them, and 
they for all they know you've shifted your gaze to some other of their parts
(which, unfortunately, is experienced behavior).  For the person who's broken
eye contact to look back a third time, well, this exposes them to the risk of
letting you think you can ask them directions or to buy something or lend them
a quarter; it also communicates that they've noticed you above normal custom,
and in the case of a woman dealing with a man who's staring at her parts, this
is frequently not something she wishes to communicate (it's sort of like paying
attention to rudeness--if junior high school students make farting noises at
you when you walk by, do you look at them?  do you want to grant them the
amusement that their noises are worth their attention?  I remember jhs, that
kind of behavior was usually a nasty comment on the passerby). 

I realize the idea is not to be rude; I'm just explaining why you get the
reactions you do.  What happens if you do the same to men?

L S Chabot
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