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From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Living in sin?
Message-ID: <2294@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 29-Jan-85 16:45:35 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.2294
Posted: Tue Jan 29 16:45:35 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 30-Jan-85 07:48:17 EST
References: <198@tekred.UUCP> <1091@houxm.UUCP>
Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach)
Organization: The Village
Lines: 42
Xref: watmath net.singles:5683 net.social:429
Summary: 

In article <1091@houxm.UUCP> gregbo@houxm.UUCP (Greg Skinner) writes:
>(Now, I know I'm probably going to get flamed by everyone who
>has been divorced, but I feel I've got to say this.)

We'll keep the heat down-- promise....

>I think that the reason that there are bad marriages are becuase the people
>didn't get married because they really loved each other

Well, I agree-- to a point. Many people DO get married for the wrong
reasons-- myself included. These people do tend to get divorced when the
real reasons aren't enough anymore (myself included, again). The only
reason to get married is to spend the rest of your life with someone, and
to show that committment to everyone. Being pregnant isn't a reason, sex
(good, bad, or in the case of virgins, non-existant) isn't a reason,
religion isn't a reason, being in love isn't a reason. 

But there is another strong reason why many marriages fail. Many people
(myself included) grow up with a very innaccurate view of love, and
marriage, and relationships. Gene Kelly never got divorced. Richard Burton
never got divorced, Rhett Butler, well, never mind, but you get the idea.
The media shows that the aim is not to build a relationship, but to get
married, and THEN THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 

Bull. But lots of people seem to believe it. Any relationship is hard (no
pun intended) work, and a marriage involves more work because there is a
permanence to it. The reason a lot of marriages fail is not because people
don't love each other or don't believe the vows they take, but because they
weren't willing or able to put the work into the relationship to keep the
love from dying after they did get married. (myself included). 

Leo Buscaglia points out that you can go to college to learn about
anything--except love. For some reason we are considered to be instant
experts in one of the most difficult subjects ever invented, and lots of
times we blow it.

chuq
-- 
From the ministry of silly talks:               Chuq Von Rospach
{allegra,cbosgd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

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