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From: jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Relationships:  do ANY of them work?
Message-ID: <796@sjuvax.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 3-Feb-85 04:22:06 EST
Article-I.D.: sjuvax.796
Posted: Sun Feb  3 04:22:06 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 6-Feb-85 03:49:47 EST
References: <1869@wateng.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa.
Lines: 36

[Aren't you hungry...?]

	Of course some relationships work, though the general tendency I have
observed both in myself and in others is to swing between being in a
relatinoship and being depressed about the state of one's lack of a
relationship. If I might offer an opinion, I note that many of my peers
expect perfection, and don't go into the relationships they get into with a
clear understanding that usually the image you have of a person is not
really that person.

	The single thing which has most helped keep the relationship I am
involved in going is a willingness to let the other person be themselves.

	As to whether or not a relationship is worth it or not, the answer (I
believe) is certainly yes.  For all the hurt and pain one can feel when
things don't work out or when they end due to practical necessity, there is
also a lot of support to be gained, and there is (for me at least) a
pleasure in providing support if its wanted.  Consideration is not so much
work as people would believe.  After a while it becomes second nature.

	It is a very good feeling to know that when you come home someone
will be there, and that the thoughts of the day and the differences of
opinion and approach to the world can be savored in private tranquility.
Though I know that the relationship I am presently in will probably not
last in the long run - we have very different goals in life - the person I
am seeing provides perspective and provokes my thoughts, and that is to me
a very precious thing, well worth any pain I may incur between relationships.

	And she isn't even on the net to read all of this.... Then again, she
doesn't need to.  I've told her how I feel.

	Only my opinions, for what they are worth, but there are some people
out here who look at relationships in a positive light.

Jonathan Shapiro
Haverford College