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From: nairb@ihlpg.UUCP (b. enke)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: Golf Jokes
Message-ID: <197@ihlpg.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 20-Feb-85 19:26:17 EST
Article-I.D.: ihlpg.197
Posted: Wed Feb 20 19:26:17 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 22-Feb-85 09:18:55 EST
References: <313@ptsfc.UUCP>
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Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
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> 
> 	There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put
> up with taking in a round with his wife. One time ...

*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE, KLINGON SCUM ***

Good golf joke.  Here's another one I heard.

The foursome of Matthew, John, Peter, and Jesus went golfing one spring
day. Being good golfers, they decided to challenge a difficult course.

The first hole was a 350-yard par 4; Matthew, John, and Peter each hit
nice 200-yard drives off the tee.  Jesus stepped up and cranked a collosal
drive that bounced up onto the fringe of the green.  Upon seeing this,
Jesus erupted into a fit of mild curses, complaining that his shot should
have come closer than that.  Shortly, Matthew, John, and Peter each shot
onto the green, leaving Jesus to attempt his 30-yard putt.  Jesus played
the numerous slopes perfectly, but left the putt an inch short.  Again,
he erupted into a fit of oaths, telling the world that the putt should
have been relatively easy for him.  After all, HE was JESUS!

The second hole, a par 3 200-yarder, progressed much the same way.  Matthew,
John, and Peter hit nice shots; Jesus hit another great shot that still was
not quite good enough for his divinity.  In fact, this style of play
continued through six holes.

The seventh hole was a monstrous 650-yard par 5, with a lake in front of
the green.  It was a hole truly worthy of a Jesus-caliber player.  Again,
Matthew, John, and Peter hit nice shots; again Jesus came up with a
whopper drive.  In fact, this drive was so great that it took a couple of
mighty bounces and plopped into the lake, almost hitting an elderly 
fisherman in a boat!  Seeing this, Jesus was simply outraged.  He first
broke his driver over his knee, and then he sulked down the fairway.
After Matthew, John, and Peter cleared the lake, Jesus thought over his
shot options.  Not wanting to take a costly penalty, he decided to play
the shot in a way he was sure he could: he levitated the ball to the top
of the lake, and then walked up to it on the water!

Seeing this, the old fisherman was astounded!  After pouring his whiskey
overboard, he called to John: "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ??"
John replied, "He KNOWS he's Jesus Christ; he THINKS he's Arnold Palmer!!!"


Booooo, hisssss!


-- 
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> It's a poor atom-blaster that won't point both ways :  Salvor Hardin.


					President, T.A.S
					(Tribble Adoption Society)