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Path: utzoo!watmath!water!jbtubman
From: jbtubman@water.UUCP (Jim Tubman [LPAIG])
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Temperance Campaign
Message-ID: <321@water.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 22-Feb-85 14:48:21 EST
Article-I.D.: water.321
Posted: Fri Feb 22 14:48:21 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 26-Feb-85 05:24:19 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 41


A friend of mine recently received this in the mail.  It contained no return
address, so its authenticity is suspect.  He gave me permission to reprint
it if I removed his name.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

			     THE CANADIAN
			    RESCUE MISSION
		     Rev. Elton Washington, Pastor

Mr. XXXXXX
Faculty of Mathematics
Department of Computer Science
University of Waterloo
Waterloo, Ontario

Dear Mr. XXXXXX:

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of
temperance.  Each summer for the past fourteen years, I have toured the
Western Provinces and have delivered a series of lectures on the evils of
drinking.

I have been accompanied each year by my friend Clyde Pasternak.  Clyde, a
young  man of good family standing and excellent educational background, is
an example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and wild women.

Clyde would appear with me atthe lectures and sit down on the platform
staring at  the audience through bloodshot eyes; wheezing, sweating
profusely, picking his nose, passing gas, fondling his genitals and making
obscene gestures.  Whereupon, I would point him out as an example of what
overindulgence can do to a person.

Unfortunately, last fall Clyde died.  A mutual friend has given me your name
and I wonder if you would be available this summer to take Clyde's place.


With reverential awe,
Rev. Elton Washington
Pastor