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From: daemon@decwrl.UUCP (The devil himself)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: The Gastronomical Bean Story...
Message-ID: <746@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Feb-85 15:03:35 EST
Article-I.D.: decwrl.746
Posted: Tue Feb 26 15:03:35 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 27-Feb-85 10:50:46 EST
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 65


          "The only thing worth having in an earthly existence
                         is a sense of humor."

                                         -- Lincoln Steffens



                     THE GASTRONOMICAL BEAN STORY
                                                   (Author unknown)

     Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for
baked beans.  He loved them, but they always had a very embarrasing and
somewhat lively reaction on him.  Then he met a girl one day, and fell in
love.  When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
"She is such a sweet girl, and she would never go for that kind of carrying
on."  So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans.  They were
married shortly afterward.

     Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work.
Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he
would be late home because he had to walk.  On his way, he passed a small
cafe, and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming.  Since he still
had several miles to walk, he figured he could walk off any ill effects
before he got home.  So he stopped at the cafe, and before leaving, he had
eaten three large orders of baked beans.

     All the way home he putt-putted, and after arriving, he felt reasonably
sure that he had putt-putted his last.  His wife seemed somewhat agitated
and excited to see him, and exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful
surprise for your dinner tonight."  She blindfolded him, and led him to his
chair at the end of the table.  He seated himself, and just as he was about
to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang.  His wife made him promise not
to touch the blindfold until she returned.  Then she went to answer the 
phone.  Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let
go.  It was not only loud, but ripe as rotten eggs.  He took the napkin 
from his lap and began fanning the air vigorously about him.  Things had 
just returned to normal, when he felt another urge coming on him, so he 
shifted his weight to the other leg, and let go again.  This was a true 
prize winner!  While keeping his ear on the onversation in the hall, he
went on like this for ten minutes, until he knew the phone farewells
indicated the end of his freedom.  He placed his napkin on his lap, and
folded his hands on top of it, and smiled contently to himself.  When his
wife returned, apologizing for taking so long, she asked him if he had
peeked, and he of course assured her that he had not.

     At this point, she removed the blindfold, and there to his surprise
were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a surprise HAPPY
BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

                            -----------------

Hope that was new and/or enjoyable for most of you.  Keep 'em comin'...
the (Net.jokes) natives are getting restless!

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Jerri Herbert   |     (   _      _   )
...somewhere at |     (--(@)----(@)--)       "Watching and waiting
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