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From: colonel@gloria.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Telling the Truth
Message-ID: <945@gloria.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 25-Feb-85 11:39:37 EST
Article-I.D.: gloria.945
Posted: Mon Feb 25 11:39:37 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Mar-85 20:57:25 EST
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Organization: SUNY-Buffalo Computer Sci.
Lines: 38

> > How do you teach respect for the truth?

> We started confronting this when our oldest daughter (now 7.5)
> was 5.  There were lots of evasions of the truth starting at that
> age, generally self serving.  Dr. Spock says that children around
> that age often seem to be lying a lot, but they are not really--
> they are exploring the nature of the relationship of words to reality.
> That is, they are not lying for evil purposes but merely in the spirit
> of scientific exploration (which, I think (not Spock, me) is good).

Spock is a competent M.D. and writer, but a poor psychologist.  You'll
notice that he offers no evidence for his theory.  I suspect that he
may be lying to protect the children.

"Respect for the truth" is just a code-phrase for "tell me the truth!"
If you want your children to tell you the truth, you must reward them
and not punish them for doing so.  In particular:

	1. Show them that you appreciate their owning up to
	   mischief, even if you must punish them for it.
	   Don't take veracity for granted.  You have to earn
	   it!

	2. Don't ask unnecessary questions.  If you can see
	   what happened, there's no need for an interrogation.
	   This goes also for bullying questions like "Didn't
	   I tell you not to ...?"

	3. Don't ask questions in an artificial voice.  "Who
	   knocked the lamp over?" is less likely to be answered
	   honestly if you ask it in the tone of an ogre or a
	   drill sergeant.  Listen to yourself!

I'm happy to see this topic on the net.  Can anybody else offer advice
or experience?
-- 
Col. G. L. Sicherman
...decvax!sunybcs!gloria!colonel