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From: suki@reed.UUCP (Monica Nosek)
Newsgroups: net.poems
Subject: Sunday morning
Message-ID: <954@reed.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 18-Feb-85 03:30:20 EST
Article-I.D.: reed.954
Posted: Mon Feb 18 03:30:20 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 24-Feb-85 03:03:17 EST
Reply-To: suki@reed.UUCP (Monica Nosek)
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 79


	After He Tells Her He Is Not Happy

He is jovial now, and offers me pancakes
instead of sympathy.
I can tell from his tone that he is
free from the burden of trying to care
but is too kind to ask me to leave.
I practice holding my breath and stare at the wall--
he says we might be out of milk and hands
me my bear when I sit up
and try not to scream.
I wish he would go to the kitchen so I could
cry, and he does, so I do.
When I hear myself I sound like a child afraid.
I feel last night's stickiness on my thigh
and want a shower.

The shower is temperamental, as am I,
and hoards the hot water
until I wrestle it into submission.
He joins me as I undress;
he is quicker and shucks his
jeans and sweater
even before I hang my bathrobe on the hook.
He has fiddled with the faucet--
never quite satisfied--
so I slip between the drops 
and turn the knob
this way
and that
until I feel a pleasant scald.

I like my shower hot.

He hogs the stream;
his longish curls relax and hug his neck.
He is an unwashed Jesus bathing;
if I look I might see stigmata,
but for now I stand outside the
spray and look instead at
water streaming down the wall.

When he remembers I am there
he puts his long hands on my hips.
I back into the water and
wash myself of him,
then slide down the side
of the shower to the floor.
If I culd
continue down the drain
I would,
but I sit and watch his knees instead
until he crouches in the stall,
a too-tall bird,
the nest too small,
and makes a hat of his hands
to keep the hot rain out.

He wants to know
Am I ready to go?
I tell him
In a minute
and he watches as I lick my lips,
tasting copper pipes.

He used to kiss my cheek in the dark
to see if I'd been crying,
but if he did it now he's
only taste tap water.

If you cry in the shower they can't see your tears.



-- 
--------------------------------------------------------------
			Monica Nosek
			reed!suki