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Path: utzoo!laura
From: laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Marriage and Commitment
Message-ID: <5068@utzoo.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 18-Feb-85 07:11:29 EST
Article-I.D.: utzoo.5068
Posted: Mon Feb 18 07:11:29 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 18-Feb-85 07:11:29 EST
References: <583@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: U of Toronto Zoology
Lines: 21

I know a few people who claim that their principle reason for getting
married is for the ``security of the relationship''. The problem is,
how can they find security in a relationship at all, and, if they can,
how can they make this sort of security continue.

I think that you have to be more-or-less self-sufficient *first*, before
you can be very good for anyone. Short periods in which one needs security
from another person are fine, but when one person starts  using the other
as a Linus blanket over the long term it is no wonder that the other
cracks under the strain.

I  guess what this means is that I don't have this sort of a need for
security, and anyone whom I would consider marrying would not have this
sort of need either. Perhaps this means that what I have left over and
call needs, others would call wants. But, given that I marry someone
with compatible wants, I can't see what is so wrong with that (except
that it lends legitimacy to the state which I am unwilling to do, but
that is a whole other reason to not get married). 

Laura Creighton
utzoo!laura