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From: kolovson@hplabs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Marriage and commitment
Message-ID: <11000011@hplabs.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 9-Feb-85 12:23:00 EST
Article-I.D.: hplabs.11000011
Posted: Sat Feb  9 12:23:00 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 21-Feb-85 02:56:45 EST
References: <586@decwrl.UUCP>
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Nf-ID: #R:decwrl:-58600:hplabs:11000011:000:1257
Nf-From: hplabs!kolovson    Feb 20 09:23:00 1985

>I think that you have to be more-or-less self-sufficient *first*, before
>you can be very good for anyone. Short periods in which one needs security
>from another person are fine, but when one person starts  using the other
>as a Linus blanket over the long term it is no wonder that the other
>cracks under the strain.

I agree with you, Laura.  I have recently been "used" (not to imply "abused")
as a Linus (security) blanket for short periods during a relationship, and
lately I am enjoying her company a great deal.  I sometimes wonder if "the 
feeling" will last for both of us.  I feel that the major difference between 
her and I is that I am "more-or-less self-sufficient," and *at times*, she is 
not.  It is too early to say whether she would want me to be her Linus blanket 
"over the long term," or even if "the long term" is in store for us.

However, one shouldn't think in all-or-nothing terms in situations like
these, I believe.  That is, there are no absolute "rules of thumb" that
apply to all relationships.  There is much about my friend that I hold
dear and truly enjoy.  I will always have doubts in *any* relationship.  
As you said, security is not to be found from someone else, but from
yourself!

Curt Kolovson
hplabs!kolovson