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From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison )
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: overweight singles
Message-ID: <5147@tektronix.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 20-Feb-85 18:02:46 EST
Article-I.D.: tektroni.5147
Posted: Wed Feb 20 18:02:46 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 22-Feb-85 01:12:25 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 36


(...outta the closet...)

Having been overweight since my adolescence, I have quite a bit 
of experience from which to draw in forming an opinion.

I have felt that it has both made a difference and not made a 
difference in my relationships.  *And* the real difference 
was not in how much I weighed, but how I felt about how I
weighed.

For many years I bought into the belief that if I was overweight,
I was not "attractive" or "desirable".  (In fact, it was the 
basis for some of my weight gains (defense mechanisms, protection
etc) but that is irrelevant here.)   During that period of my
life, I wasn't in relationships much, and the ones I was in
weren't very good ones, nor long-lasting.  Many of the problems
came down to a gut-level feeling that I was not attractive and
that I didn't deserve what I had.

I have friends who are overweight and have never doubted their
desirability.  I began to think that maybe this wasn't a 
diety-given fact, and that I had a choice in the matter.  So
I started allowing myself to experience being a sexy desirable
woman, and it has changed the way men react to me.  Note that
this didn't have to do with the way I dressed or did my hair
or wore my makeup.   It was more to do with my inner experience
of myself.

And I also know that weight does get in the way for some men.
And that is not really *my* problem.

Moira Mallison
ucbvax!ucbernie!mallison
    --- or ---
tektronix!moiram