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From: peterb@pbear.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Chris: Meeting People
Message-ID: <60@pbear.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 23-Feb-85 04:39:26 EST
Article-I.D.: pbear.60
Posted: Sat Feb 23 04:39:26 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 27-Feb-85 05:16:00 EST
Lines: 52
Nf-ID: #N:pbear:27400001:000:2567
Nf-From: pbear!peterb    Feb 22 14:36:00 1985


	Hello Chris,

    Yes I know what your problem is like.  I had it for  quite  a
while  back at Lehigh.  (~6000, 2000 women).  Its nothing new, so
don't go out of your way looking for it,  instead  sit  back  and
develop  the  friendships  first.   This works quite a lot better
than you may think.  You would be surprised that if you just  sit
back  and  observe  and respond in kind to people with a nod or a
simple "hello" or "have a good day" or be curtious to ALL  people
that  you  will find that more people will remember you and start
to talk to you, and start becoming friends with you.

    Don't try to nail down names and numbers when you first  meet
someone,  instead  let  it  develop slowly.  Show interest in the
person, but  don't  sit  there  with  your  tongue  wagging.   Be
curtious  and  above  all  DON'T  PUSH!  Nothing I know turns off
people more than somebody who pushes.  (Yes I learned it the hard
way, but I learned!).  Let the other person seek out  friendship,
and  if it doesn't work first, try again (there were ~12000 women
there right?)

    Be visible and be considerate about your dress  and  actions.
Sure jeans, etc are fine, but do comb the hair, shave the stubble
from a long days hack, etc...  Being consistant is best, since it
develops  a  sense  of  stability  in both yourself and the image
other people have of  you.   Hang  out  in  the  lounges  or  the
cafeteria,  but be somewhere and be there regularly since someone
who has seen you there before on numerous occasions will be  able
to  find  you  there  again.   Also the regularity of it does not
alarm people than would the irregularities.

    Bring along some work and sit down and do it.  But don't just
be a busy beaver and bury yourself in it, keep track of what goes
on around.  If you catch somebody looking at you, nod  your  hear
in  recognition  and  wait  to see what happens.  If conversation
ensues, don't jump at it and ask a lot of questions.  Keep it  on
a social level and banter a bit.  If the conversation is dragging
or  it  looks like its going nowhere, respone with a "well I gott
get back to work.  It was enjoyable talking  with  you..."  lines
and leave it at that.  It works a lot better than you think.

    Have  confidence  in  yourself,  and  don't  get   upset   on
rejection.  Relax and take it easy, since the harder you try, the
worse it gets.

    I wish you luck, but if nothing does develop sexually then at
least you will have a group of friends that you can talk with...


					    Peter Barada
					    ima!pbear!peterb