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From: jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.kids
Subject: Re: good book for adoptees/birthparents
Message-ID: <898@sjuvax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 25-Feb-85 01:20:53 EST
Article-I.D.: sjuvax.898
Posted: Mon Feb 25 01:20:53 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 27-Feb-85 08:38:57 EST
References: <311@stat-l>
Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa.
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Xref: watmath net.singles:5993 net.kids:1019

[Pacman's revenge...]
	Having been adopted, I have sometimes wondered about attempting to
locate my natural parents.  After some thought I concluded that my adopted
parents were my "real" parents, not because I think the people who gave me
up did something wrong, but simply because my adopted folks have given so
much time, caring, effort, and love into raising me. 

	On the ohter hand, I was adopted young (3 days old), and never knew my
real parents. Ultimately I concluded that this is just as well, as the
meeting might go one of three ways.  I might conclude I was better off
adopted, in which case the pain of meeting them isn't worth it.  The
reactions might be neutral, in which event I have plenty of acquaintances
already, and the effort to track them down is something of a waste. The
reactions might be very positive, in which veent I can't escape the feeling
that my natural parents might feel quite upset about having given me up.
That seems like a no win situation.

	I am curious what other adoptees and natural parents who have given up
children think about this, particularly the latter, as I can't possibly
know their perspective.

Comments?

Jon Shapiro
Haverford College