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From: js2j@mhuxt.UUCP (sonntag)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Recommendations on asking a person out on a date
Message-ID: <623@mhuxt.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Feb-85 10:13:13 EST
Article-I.D.: mhuxt.623
Posted: Tue Feb 26 10:13:13 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 27-Feb-85 21:04:48 EST
References: <235@resonex.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 34

> It is hard to gracefully refuse an offer such as:
> 	"Would you like to go out sometime."

      How about something like "No, I don't think so."?
> 
> If you are asking someone out on a date, I recommend that you
> suggest a specific day and/or a specific activity.  Then if
> the activity or day does not appeal to the person, the person 
> can suggest an alternate date or activity.  If the person does 
> not want to go out with you, then it is easy for the person to 
> say no.  I realize the person asking is not looking for a no.
> But isn't a "no" better than a lousy time.

       I'll have to disagree wildly here.  I almost always end up
asking something like "Would you like to go out sometime?", for
almost the opposite reasons as Nancy explains above.  If you ask
about a specific date and time, a "no" response (or a "I'm busy that
weekend.", or whatever) leaves you wondering whether you're getting
an excuse or whether she really is busy that weekend, or what.
So what do you do?  You wait awhile and ask again, knowing that
there's at least a good chance that she's really not interested
anyway.
     I've been much happier with the indefinate approach.  That
way, if she's not interested, I get a 'no', which is much better
than being put off indefinately.  If she is interested, I get her
input on where she would like to go for our date, which helps to
ensure that we end up doing something we both enjoy.
-- 
Jeff Sonntag
ihnp4!mhuxt!js2j
    "Would you like to swing on a star?
     Carry moonbeams home in a jar?
     And be better off than you are?
     Or would you rather be a fish?"