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From: js2j@mhuxt.UUCP (sonntag)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Recommendations on asking a person out on a date
Message-ID: <626@mhuxt.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 27-Feb-85 13:46:08 EST
Article-I.D.: mhuxt.626
Posted: Wed Feb 27 13:46:08 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Mar-85 05:46:19 EST
References: <235@resonex.UUCP> <744@amdcad.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 37

> >=Nancy Blachman 
>=Phil Nga
> > It is hard to gracefully refuse an offer such as:
> > 	"Would you like to go out sometime."
> 
> I would guess people who use lines like that do it because it is so
> hard to turn down a non-specific question like that without obviously
> and blatantly rejecting them. Have you tried "No, I'm very busy but
> why don't you call me in 6 months"?

    Why does everyone seem to think that it's better to just keep putting
off someone you don't want to go out with rather than 'blatantly
rejecting' them?  And did you ever think that people might ask non-specific
questions like that because what they *really* want to find out is the
answer to that non-specific question?  (the sly dogs)
    It seems as though some of you don't like this question because the
only way to turn it down is to tell the asker that you'd rather not go
out with them.  Why is this so difficult?  Sure, maybe the asker's ego
gets a little bruise.  Big deal, they *heal*.
    And what's the alternative?  Suppose they asked about a specific date
and activity.  What can you do now if you'd rather not go out with them?
You can:  1.) Tell them the truth, but a lot of you apparently don't
              like this alternative.
          2.) Suddenly decide to wash your hair that night.  (Or otherwise
              make up a convenient lie.)
          3.) If you're really lucky, maybe you'll already have plans in
              which case you can get out of it without lying, though they
              may well keep asking until they figure out what you're up to.

    It seems to me as though the people who dislike the question: "Would you
like to go out sometime?" actually dislike the idea of being almost
constrained to telling the *truth* to the asker.  Come to think of it,
I don't think I'd like to go out with someone like this anyway.
-- 
Jeff Sonntag
ihnp4!mhuxt!js2j
     "What you mean *WE*, paleface?" - Tonto, at Little Big Horn.