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From: joe@fluke.UUCP (Joe Kelsey)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: More thoughts on committment and marriage
Message-ID: <2175@vax4.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 27-Feb-85 11:53:36 EST
Article-I.D.: vax4.2175
Posted: Wed Feb 27 11:53:36 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Mar-85 08:12:36 EST
References: <1357@utah-gr.UUCP>
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
Lines: 33

You wanted evidence to "prevent" a divorce.  Sorry, but I am going to
give you reasons why I think that your analysis of your friends
situation is correct.

It sounds so much like my own situation and like that of so many
others!  It is all well and good for people like Greg to postulate
about how more marriages could be saved if only the participants
*wanted* to save them, but that is terribly unrealistic.  When it comes
down to two people with a serious communication problem, the fact of
their problem tends to serve to aggravate the situation to the point of
no return.  Eventually the communication breaks down completely and
there really is no hope of restoring it without at least severals years
of distance.

I think the real problem here is societal - I was never taught in
school how to *communicate*!  I had to wait until I got a job and took
some on-the-job training specifically in Communication.  Now, after
probably my third or fourth seminar on communication, or at least
touching on some important aspects of communication, I feel that I am
finally becoming a much better communicator!  Why couldn't they have
taught me that in grade school where I really neede to know it!   Think
of the early Trauma I would have been spared!  Think of the later
Trauma I would have been spared!  My marriage might not be on the rocks
right now!

Sigh.  With the "new-right", "new-fundamentalist" attitudes that seem
to be gaining some sort of popularity now, I guess there's no hope for
such radical subjects a "Communication", or "Getting Along" ever
becoming part of the school curriculum.

/Joe

P.S.  Notice that I did NOT include any part of the referenced article.
Aren't you proud of me?