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From: prophet@umcp-cs.UUCP (Dennis Gibbs)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Suggestion for asking MOTOS out on a date
Message-ID: <3647@umcp-cs.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Feb-85 12:13:07 EST
Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.3647
Posted: Tue Feb 26 12:13:07 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Mar-85 09:15:22 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: U of Maryland, Computer Science Dept., College Park, MD
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<>


>It is hard to gracefully refuse an offer such as:
>	"Would you like to go out sometime."
>
>If you are asking someone out on a date, I recommend that you
>suggest a specific day and/or a specific activity.  Then if
>the activity or day does not appeal to the person, the person 
>can suggest an alternate date or activity.  If the person does 
>not want to go out with you, then it is easy for the person to 
>say no.  I realize the person asking is not looking for a no.
>But isn't a "no" better than a lousy time.
>
>-- 
>
>/\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\//\/
>Nancy Blachman 		UUCP: {allegra,hplabs,ihnp4,ucbvax!sun}!resonex!nancy  

I tend to agree with the above, however, there is a problem with it: A few
times, I have asked a MOTOS out, suggesting a specific time, and they turn
me down...Then perhaps a week later I ask  them  out  again,  suggesting a
different time/place, and again they say they are busy. They never suggest
an alternative each time, so after  the  second  or  third try, I give up,
since it obviously appears that they aren't interested in going out at all.

Then, later, (as in a few weeks or so), the MOTOS would  call  me  on  the
phone, or talk to me in person....They ask why I stopped asking them  out,
and if I am still interested...The point I am trying to make  is  that  if
someone asks you out, and you really are busy but are  indeed  interested,
SAY SO!  It's hard to keep asking someone out time after time and  getting
turned down every time, without the MOS  suggesting  an  alternate time/
activity.  If the MOTOS never suggests an alternative,  then  I  can  only
assume the MOTOS isn't interested.

I don't usually persist after the second or third time,  because  if   the
MOTOS really isn't interested, then it could wind up being an uncomfortable
situation...I wonder how many outings I have missed out on because the MOTOS
never indicated any interest when indeed she was interested.....

                       Dennis

-- 
Call-Me:   Dennis Gibbs, Univ. of Md. Comp. Sci. Center.
UUCP:	   {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!prophet
CSNet:	   prophet@umcp-cs
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