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From: hagouel@ittvax.UUCP (Jack Hagouel)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Responsibility for birth control
Message-ID: <1635@ittvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Feb-85 10:09:24 EST
Article-I.D.: ittvax.1635
Posted: Thu Feb 28 10:09:24 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Mar-85 00:36:28 EST
References: <3850001@csd2.UUCP> <8283@watarts.UUCP>
Organization: ITT-ATC, Stratford Ct.
Lines: 40

Judy Belya writes:

> In a recent all-female wine & chat the conversation turned to sexual
> etiquette.  A casual poll was taken.  
			.  .  .
>                                                                   If
> at the end of a marriage or significant relationship a woman goes into
> seclusion and stops using birth control whose responsibility is it if
> two people meet and are *swept away*?  From our poll, we discovered that
> the men definitely have decided it's our responsibility.  Both the precaution
> and the consequences.  Things don't seem to have changed much after all.


In general I agree with Judy but there are some important nuances that have
been disreguarded.

From my experience, and I don't ask, if the woman uses no contraception
she will bring it up; then it is *both* our responsibility to deal with
precautions, even if that implies abstinence. It is a matter of
etiquette rather than insensitivity. As it is customary for men to ask
women out, it is customary for women to bring up birth control before
sex if necessary.  Most single women today use some form of birth
control, so the question is (unromantic :-) and) unnecessary.

When two adults get "swept away" they are equally responsible for their
actions. If there are unpleasant consequences that the partners of
Judy's friends refused to deal with, then this says something about
their character rather than the male gendre. There *are* a lot of nice
men.

It is part of the laws of nature that physically women suffer most as
a result of mistakes. Ultimately, it is to their best interest to enforce
prevention of mistakes. Do not misunderstand this statement, it is not
meant to take responsibility off the shoulders of men; but when a bad
apple comes by the woman should not sulk and cry because she can *do*
something about it.
-- 

Jack Hagouel
..!ittvax!hagouel		(203) 929-7341