Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site linus.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!rjd From: rjd@linus.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Re: Coming Out at Work & Corporate Lawyers Message-ID: <268@linus.UUCP> Date: Thu, 14-Mar-85 17:33:21 EST Article-I.D.: linus.268 Posted: Thu Mar 14 17:33:21 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 16-Mar-85 12:58:33 EST References: <246@linus.UUCP> <267@linus.UUCP> Reply-To: rjd@linus.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis) Distribution: net Organization: The MITRE Coporation, Bedford, MA Lines: 61 Summary: O--------------------------------------------------------------O The opinions expressed in this article are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the MITRE Corporation. O--------------------------------------------------------------O Today I told my boss I was gay. I did this because I wanted to place an ad in the corporate weekly that read: HOUSEMATE - Male (gay), 22, seeks 2 housemates (male or female) for 3 bedroom ranch at the Billerica end of the Middlesex Turnpike; 4 miles from MITRE. ALL utilities included (Bay State phone/ht/hw/elec). NO couples, tobacco, or pets with fur. Available early April, $325/month. Call Robert, x2260 or 369-1848 after 5 p.m. The corporate weekly has a classified section for ads like this. Well, not exactly "like this." I submitted the ad this morning. Which is why I told my boss I was gay. I've know him off and on (always as my boss) for over 5 years. Some of the people I work with who are roughly my age had been told. I felt my boss had "earned the right" to be told this in person, rather than find out from some third party who had read the ad. He seemed a little caught off guard but dealt with it admirably. I learned today that I do indeed have a boss worth working for. It was a positive experience, though I was a real wreck after I made up my mind to tell him, but before I actually did. Anyway, to get to the point. I submitted the ad this morning to the staff of the corporate weekly. This afternoon I got a call from the "man in charge." He said that the corporation's legal counsel, Robeson Gray, had been consulted on the matter of allowing an employee to state sexual preference in a corporate publication. Robeson Gray advised that it not be allowed. Why? I asked "the man in charge" he said he didn't know. He couldn't even imagine why they might advise against the placement of such an ad. But they did. I asked him if he could find out why, by maybe asking Robeson Gray for an explanation of their decision. He said that he didn't think the corporation would be willing to get involved in this issue, financially or otherwise. I should mention that MITRE is closely related to the Air Force; over 90% of our work comes from them. What I want to know from you, dear reader, is What recourse do I have? None? Tommorrow is Friday. I can think of a few people to talk to. I could go see one of the VP's. He claims to have an "open-door" policy; anyone can make an appointment to see him. I could see what he says. I could go to the Affirmative Action Committee to see if they have any advice. You may be wondering why this matters so much to me. Well, I don't know if you've ever had the experience of having someone just totally discount your whole being and worth because your gay. I don't want to have to answer lots of calls only to hear "oh! uh, the room is kind of small" when I can tell full well that I'm being rejected, not the room. As things went, I told the editor to run the ad without the "gay". I figured I'd just deal with the hurt. But thinking about it, I'm going to call him up tommorrow and cancel it. I do not need that kind of aggravation. I don't need to forcefully bring myself into contact with a cross-section of the population that is likely to make me feel bad and helpless. Any advice will be gladly accepted. The sooner the better as I must decide quickly what my response to this is. Robert DeBenedictis