Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sphinx.UChicago.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!cuzz From: cuzz@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Laura Cuzzillo) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Re: Coming Out at Work & Corporate Lawyers Message-ID: <242@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP> Date: Wed, 20-Mar-85 10:22:15 EST Article-I.D.: sphinx.242 Posted: Wed Mar 20 10:22:15 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 21-Mar-85 04:03:45 EST References: <246@linus.UUCP> <267@linus.UUCP>, <268@linus.UUCP> Organization: U. Chicago - Computation Center Lines: 53 It seems to me there are 2 issues here. Is your employer right in where he "draws the line" on what may or may not be published in the company paper? and Will including that you're gay in your add accomplish your screening purpose? My opinion on the first question is NO!! Being gay or wishing to publish that info simply does not belong on the "bad" side of any line whether it relates to employment, housing, free speech, or whatever. Perhaps they do have to draw a line, but why should being gay automatically fall behind that line? I agree that bigots go behind that line (no Italians need apply). It MIGHT be legit to restrict sex adds (sadist seeks masocist, man seeks woman, woman seeks woman, whatever). It is surely ok to reject anything illegal (addict seeks dealer). But for crying out loud, don't let them bunch you in with the baddies. However, the other side of that question is do they have a right to reject all or part of your ad? Probably. It's too bad, but companies usually reserve the right to edit everything, and I don't think there's much you can do about it. As for the other question, my advice is don't do it. From your messages, it seems to me that your purpose is to shield yourself from the jerks of the world, not to make some political or personal stand. If you say you're gay in your ad, you may avoid some or even most of the people who are too ignorant and or insecure to live with a gay man. On the other hand, you are inviting a much worse sort, namely the crank callers and harrassers, who will call just to give you grief. Believe me, the former (uh, uh, I don't know, uh, I think the room's too small) is alot easier to take. This is especially true because your ad will be in a company paper, presumably anyone who wants could find out who you are, where your office is, etc, and really make your life hell. (Someone I know became known as a lesbian at work - a social work dept in a hospital. She had to leave shortly thereafter because she started to get dogshit, dead birds, and such through interdepartmental mail. Her managers basically said "What did you expect?"). So leave "gay" out of your ad. Then you'll get calls only from real house hunters, and you'll be in control because you have something they want. Then when you interview them face to face, if you get that far, ask them if they have any problems dealing with gays. But remember, stay in control. The question is not an apology. If they can't deal with it, they can't live with you. That's that. Most important remember that if they can't deal with it, IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, not yours. It's they who should be embarrassed for being narrow minded, ignorant bigots, not you for having the integrity to be yourself. I hope this all makes sense to you. And good luck finding a good housemate.