Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site linus.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!whuxl!whuxlm!akgua!sdcsvax!dcdwest!ittvax!decvax!linus!rjd
From: rjd@linus.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: why gays like to be visible
Message-ID: <283@linus.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 19-Mar-85 18:08:42 EST
Article-I.D.: linus.283
Posted: Tue Mar 19 18:08:42 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 23-Mar-85 04:22:24 EST
References: <201@bbnccv.UUCP>
Reply-To: rjd@linus.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis)
Distribution: net
Organization: The MITRE Coporation, Bedford, MA
Lines: 63
Summary: 


  O--------------------------------------------------------------O
    The opinions expressed in this article are my own and do not
     necessarily reflect the opinions of the MITRE Corporation.
  O--------------------------------------------------------------O

JSol>   I'm curious. Why do gay people like to be so visible.
JSol>   Why is it so important for gays to be able to proudly
JSol>   say in the middle of a crowd that he/she is gay. What
JSol>   if I was in a crowded theater and I yelled "fire".
JSol>   It almost sounds like they want to legalize that.

It is important to be able to proudly state that one is gay because
it is not an easy accomplishment.  And, Why should it bother anyone?
If someone finds homosexuality disgusting, is it my problem?  People
should just know that gay people exist, and if they're going to be
disgusted every time they become aware of some gay person, then,
they're going to be disgusted a lot.  I don't expect straights to
keep their sexuality a secret.  The details of their sex-life are
another matter.  Somehow, people seem to vividly associate being
gay with certain particular acts.  When you tell someone you're gay
they almost act as though you're suddenly wearing the most intimate
details of your sex life on your shirt.  Now why is that?

I see my visibility as directly relating to a reduction in oppression
that other, more closeted, gay people endure.  It's a matter of politics.
If "they" don't think there are that many people that will take offense
at discrimination against gay people, then "they" will discriminate.

"Gays? Gays!  I don't see any gays!"
When I recently went to post a housemate wanted ad in the company's weekly
bulletin, I couldn't.  I had used the word gay in my ad.  That isn't the
point.  The point is when I asked about it, I was told that this was the
first time anyone had ever tried to use the word gay.  Almost makes it
look like noone gay has ever worked here before.  Almost makes it look
like being gay is some incredibly rare event.  Well, it's not.  Nearly
everyone has a gay cousin.

JSol>   Don't get me wrong, I like and appreciate gays for who
JSol>   they are (I'm bisexual, and quite partial to good looking
JSol>   gay men myself), I just don't feel they have the right to
JSol>   flaunt their sexuality since it may offend others.

All around me everyday, I see indications of heterosexuality.  Why
shouldn't I, just as casually, give evidence of my homosexuality.
Because it's nearly impossible.  A straight couple in the back of a
suburban theater smooching aren't flaunting anything.  A gay couple
however . . .  

"Flaunt" should be defined.  I often find that there is a double
standard; just bringing my gayness into awareness is sometimes
considered "flaunting it."  Straight people rarely make a big
secret of their sexuality, why should I?

Also, there are lots of times when my sexuality it just assumed
to be straight.  It doesn't always bother me.  But likewise, it
shouldn't be an issue if I point out the error.  If someone assumed
I drank whole milk, and I pointed out that I drank lowfat milk,
that should not be any cause for concern.

Robert DeBenedictis