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From: cff@uvaee.UUCP (Chuck Ferrara)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: asking people "out"
Message-ID: <227@uvaee.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 13-Mar-85 00:15:43 EST
Article-I.D.: uvaee.227
Posted: Wed Mar 13 00:15:43 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 15-Mar-85 02:39:47 EST
References: <1046@utastro.UUCP> <5156@utzoo.UUCP>
Organization: EE Dept., U of Virginia, Charlottesville
Lines: 50

> Real honesty takes time. if you don't have time to go out then you don't
> have time to be real honest with someone who is asking you out. Here is
> abysmal conversation one:
> 
> Person:	Would you like to go out sometime.
> Me:     [Oh shit, now I have to reject this poor guy. I hope his ego
> 	can take it...] No, but thank you very much for asking.

Anybody with any decency at all would back off at this point.
If they don't they deserve to have they're feelings hurt, anyhow.













> Person: Why not?
> Me:	[Panic time, this one isn't going to take no for an answer.]
> 	I'm busy now, and just not interested.
> Person:	Is there something wrong with me that makes you not want to
> 	go out with me?
> Me:	[Quick, where's the exit!] No, I don't think so, I'm just not
> 	interested.
> Person: Can you tell me why you are not interested?
> Me:	[Damn! This is like typing at Eliza..] I'd rather not...
> Person:	But it would help me to understand why I have so much trouble
> 	asking people out.
> Me:	Ah, you may spend too much time talkng to ones who don't want
> 	to go out with you? [Gosh that was snide. I hope it doesn't
> 	hurt his feelings. Hmm. Maybe I *do* wish It would hurt his
> 	feelings -- at least long enough for me to get out of here.]
> 
> If you do this too often, you will find that it is easier to say ``I'm
> busy'' than ``No''. You might luck out and he will find someone else
> and forget about you... This is cheating, yes, but there is no
> convenient way to say ``I don't want to deal with you at all'' which
> both keeps sensitive souls from getting crushed and gets the message
> across to persistent ones.
> 
> Laura Creighton
> utzoo!laura

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