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From: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Birth Control Responsibility
Message-ID: <199@unc.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 13-Mar-85 21:10:43 EST
Article-I.D.: unc.199
Posted: Wed Mar 13 21:10:43 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 16-Mar-85 01:58:46 EST
References: <gargoyle.365>
Reply-To: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 40
Summary: 

In article <gargoyle.365> carnes@gargoyle.UChicago.UUCP (Richard Carnes) writes:
>>     Consider the situation where the
>>   man does take some precaution.  I have made an effort to have
>>   condoms handy.  This has had two different results.
>>
>>      Usually, the fact that I have been properly prepared has
>>   allowed things to proceed smoothly.  So much the better.
>>   Unfortunately, there are times when there are problems.
>>   The woman will become upset when she finds out that I had
>>   the condoms ready.  It was as if I was EXPECTING to sleep
>>   with her.  That is considered an outrage, and things fall
>>   apart.  Fear of this reaction in women could encourage men
>>   to not bring anything, particularly the first time.
>
>Why should any man fear this reaction in women unless his objective
>is merely to score as often as possible? What kind of woman
>indicates her willingness to go to bed with you and then is outraged
>because you came prepared for this very eventuality (she's probably
>wearing her diaphragm)?  Answer:  A very immature woman -- one who
>can't understand that your bringing condoms along does not mean that
>you were counting on using them.  Do you really want to have a
>relationship with this type of person?  It is wonderful how people
>indicate that they are unsuitable for you to get involved with.  

Some people are not as lucky as you.  Some of us cannot find
a partner who has ALL of the desirable qualities.  Some of us
have to compromise.  For some of us, this means having a relationship
with a partner who is a bit immature, psychologically.  Is that so terrible?

A more helpful response would contain ideas to placate and reassure
the woman that your intentions were (are) honorable.

For instance, if you are in your own apartment, you could arrange
to have a difficult time finding the condoms (implying that
you don't use them frequently).  Or, when pulling them out of
your wallet you can say, "Gee, I hope these are still good."
Or, "My father made me promise always to carry them with me."

		Frank Silbermann
		University of North Carolina