Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 (Tek) 9/28/84 based on 9/17/84; site tektronix.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!bellcore!decvax!tektronix!moiram From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison ) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: feelin' no pain? Message-ID: <5204@tektronix.UUCP> Date: Fri, 15-Mar-85 16:02:20 EST Article-I.D.: tektroni.5204 Posted: Fri Mar 15 16:02:20 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 17-Mar-85 02:08:48 EST Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR Lines: 49 I've lost the references, so I apologize if I falsely attribute thoughts and/or opinions to Snoopy or Chuq. The essence of what I want to respond to is that Chuq said (in response to Jeff Sargent) that he (Chuq) would rather feel pain than feel nothing. Snoopy's response was that most people would rather feel pain than feel nothing. I think that he is about 180 degrees off. The vast majority of people in our society would rather feel nothing than feel pain. Why else do people abuse alcohol? Drugs? Food? (Overeating is simply the most legal, acceptable form of substance abuse). Some people sit hacking at their terminals 18 to 20 hours per day. (Aha --- caught a lot of you there, didn't I? And only one who finds the academic/intel- lectual/analytic plane as comfy as I do understand how you can just turn off all the emotion while you're starin' at the screen (unless you're reading net.flame, of course :-])) Another way is to put energy into supporting other people in getting through their stuff, because it is so much easier than looking at my own. And a large majority of middle America get caught up in attaining the oversold "American Dream" and stop thinking about what's really important. Everyone of us has parts of our personality that we've denied because somewhere along the way, it didn't seem in our best interest to express them. Re-integrating those parts is a painful experience, and being in the middle of a massive reintegration process right now, I fully understand why people choose to stay in the safety of numbness. G*d, it's hard pretending to be a normal, well-adjusted human being when all I feel is the pain inside. Obviously, there was pain involved with the way I was operating in my life before, or I would not have chosen to change it, and it was a familiar pain. It was comfortable like an old fuzzy robe. I could depend on it; I knew what it felt like; I understand the cycle of that pain. All I know about the new pain is that I feel like I've jumped off a cliff and I'm in free-fall (and those fish in the water down there: are they sharks or dolphins? I can't see from here.) I sure wish they'd invent an easier way :-) Moira Mallison ucbvax!ucbernie!mallison (this is where I really am) --- or --- tektronix!moiram (this works too) "Life is hard; then you die"