Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!laura
From: laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Yet another new reader. Keywd: GIRLS
Message-ID: <5278@utzoo.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 18-Mar-85 01:22:17 EST
Article-I.D.: utzoo.5278
Posted: Mon Mar 18 01:22:17 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 18-Mar-85 01:22:17 EST
References: <1110@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: U of Toronto Zoology
Lines: 32

I don't get it again. Christopher Kay is busy off at university, living his
life, and he has figured out that he is uncomfortable with the term
``woman''. Now somebody is telling him that his feelings, and what he
is comfortable with doesn't matter?! Grrrr. Feelings are not right or
wrong. Feeling just are. If you walk around nailing people for admitting
feelings that you don't like you only convince them to ignore or suppress
the feelings that they have. This is to be considered an improvement?

I don't know, but if I were Christopher Kay I would be tempted to puposely
call all the women I met ``girls''. Then I would stand back and watch
their reaction. The women who were comfortable with the word ``girl''
might be fun to go out with. The women who were uncomfortable with the
word ``girl'' and who were openly hostile would not show interest, which
would be a boon since they wouldn't be interested in my feelings, only
that I suit *their* feelings, and the ones who didn't like the term but
were considerate of my feelings in pointing it out -- ah, now they might
be good people to go out with and to work on dealing with ``being
uncomfortable with the word woman'' with. 

Of course, if Christopher Kay is more sensitive to the feelings of
others than some of the people who have flamed him, then he won't
be able to do this very well. Even if he can get around to believing
that anyone who takes a fit over his use of the word ``girl'' probably
is a walking argument waiting for a chance to happen, he is still not
going to enjoy being in any way connected with such pain. So he will
try to please everyone, even those who don't give a damn about his
feelings. This is one of the classic ways that compassionate people
get burned.

Furiously,
Laura Creighton
utzoo!laura