Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 exptools; site ihuxe.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!ihuxe!rainbow From: rainbow@ihuxe.UUCP (Rob Buchner) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: RE:gender terms Message-ID: <1075@ihuxe.UUCP> Date: Wed, 20-Mar-85 18:56:00 EST Article-I.D.: ihuxe.1075 Posted: Wed Mar 20 18:56:00 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 22-Mar-85 01:28:54 EST Distribution: net Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories Lines: 86 >>Andrew Scott Beals > Don >>It really shouldn't matter what words I use, >>as long as they're not >>explicitly derogatory and I don't mean it in a derogatory sense (one >>should be able to tell from context). So lighten up, already! I agree for the most part. I think people who get upset about this have a problem. Or in the least they are extremely insecure. It is no fun to take life so seriously. If something like this bothers you, I wouldn't want to be around when something major comes along. I am not going to think twice on every word I speak(or action I take) trying to decide if it could be taken offensively. I'd go nuts. No thanks. Stay away from me. I would be offended if someone took my words offensively, implying in turn that I was being intentionally derogatory. However, if someone does point out to me they are bothered with something I do or say, I will try to remember that for the future out of consideration regardless of how silly I think it is. >I disagree. Even if it's not intended in a derogatory sense, some people >may still find it offensive. You now have two basic choices: 1) continue >the practice even though you are aware that it may bother some people, Well, why should choice of gender specific words be an exception to the rule. Let's take this a little further. Smokers continue to practice fully aware that some people are bothered by it. They light up any time any place even if they don't intend to be rude. But I try to tolerate them. Others can try to tolerate me. Or how many of you out there swear/curse? Its so common you do it without thinking or considering what you are actually saying. How often do you ponder who you are offending? But I look the other way knowing nothing rude is really meant. Others can do the same for me. >or 2) discontinue the practice out of respect for other people's feelings. >We are all human beings. We have feelings and emotions that often bias >the way that we interpret the world around us. If we care about how >others feel we'll try to understand their feelings (or at least acknowledge >them) and do our best to act in a manor that does not bother them, whether >we understand their reasons or not. The world would be a better place to live in if all followed this principle. But one can take this too far sometimes. If I don't feel something is offensive, how can I anticipate it will be to others? Anything one says can be found offensive by somebody somewhere. Where does one draw the line? Is it sufficient to say that if one person is offended by something, no one else should ever do it again? How about two people? A few? Some? Tolerance goes two ways. There is no reason to get upset over something when nothing was meant by it. Suddenly there is a problem where there was none. I just don't understand why or what for. The problem in my opinion lies with the people who are too critical on life. I wouldn't enjoy life if I constantly disapproved or was bothered by other peoples nuances. Otherwise one cannot effectively interact with other people which is what life is all about. One must try to accept people and understand them as they are. Not change them to meet ones ideals. Otherwise I would be the one who was intolerant. So too is it with those who scream when they hear the word girl or boy. So to is it with those who continue to use those words knowing the people they're speaking with are offended by them. Clearly, both sides should try to show understanding and tolerance. Its going little too far though coming down on a person for something half the world finds natural. >To say that the intent is all that matters seems very simplistic, and >seems to ignore the reality of the situation. Intent is the only reality. Anything else is simplifying the situation. Ignoring intent is ignoring reality. Please explain what you are trying to say. Examples perhaps. >This is true of life in general; it's a shame that most people >don't seem to have figured it out. Philosophy on life has infinite theories. I'd be surprised if anyone has it all figured out. Trying to learn a little each day about life and the joy it brings is what living is all about. Without something new to find out, life stagnates and dies. There is no life once you think you've figured it all out. That is a shame. Robert