Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site rocksvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!rocksvax!dw From: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: gender terms Message-ID: <1054@rocksvax.UUCP> Date: Fri, 22-Mar-85 18:29:30 EST Article-I.D.: rocksvax.1054 Posted: Fri Mar 22 18:29:30 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 25-Mar-85 01:44:55 EST References: <1075@ihuxe.UUCP> Reply-To: dw@rocksvax.UUCP (Don Wegeng) Distribution: net Organization: Xerox: Henrietta, NY Lines: 81 Summary: In article <1075@ihuxe.UUCP> rainbow@ihuxe.UUCP (Rob Buchner) writes: >If something like this bothers you, I wouldn't >want to be around when something major comes along. I am not going to >think twice on every word I speak(or action I take) >trying to decide if it could be taken offensively. >I'd go nuts. No thanks. Stay away from me. I would be offended if someone >took my words offensively, implying in turn that I was being intentionally >derogatory. Believe it or not, Rob, it's possible to offend people without doing it on purpose. This doesn't mean that they think that you were being intentionally derogatory. It means that they think that you were being rude. >However, if someone does point out to me they are bothered with something >I do or say, I will try to remember that for the future out of consideration >regardless of how silly I think it is. That's mighty nice of you. >Well, why should choice of gender specific words >be an exception to the rule. Let's take this >a little further. Smokers continue to practice fully aware that some people >are bothered by it. They light up any time any place even if they don't >intend to be rude. But I try to tolerate them. Others can try to tolerate me. Oh, so if smokers can do it then you can too. Gee, we all know that smokers are always right, don't we? (I'm not trying to pick on smokers. This applies to anyone who's actions may bother people). >Or how many of you out there swear/curse? Its so common you do it without >thinking or considering what you are actually saying. How often do you >ponder who you are offending? But I look the other way knowing nothing rude >is really meant. Others can do the same for me. Once again you try to impress us with how nice a person you are. As for your example, I confess that I tend to swear a lot. Yes, sometimes it comes out without thinking. But, I DO think about who I might be bothering, and I try to watch my language. This is called courtesy. >The world would be a better place to live in if all followed this principle. >But one can take this too far sometimes. If I don't feel something is >offensive, how can I anticipate it will be to others? Anything one says >can be found offensive by somebody somewhere. Where does one draw the line? >Is it sufficient to say that if one person is offended by something, no >one else should ever do it again? How about two people? A few? Some? Yes, we have to be reasonable. However, you cannot claim that you didn't know that some women are offended if they are called girls. You've been reading about it on the net, haven't you? We're not talking about people who do not know that they may be offending someone. We're talking about people who don't seem to care. >Tolerance goes two ways. There is no reason to get upset over something >when nothing was meant by it. "Gee, I didn't mean to bother anyone by calling that black person a n*gger. And since I didn't intend to bother them then it must be ok for me to continue to do so. If they are offended then they have a problem, not me." Sorry, but that kind of argument doesn't work. I think that you missed the point of my message. There is no way that a person can always predict what will offend others. However, if a person knows that others are offended by something, and then goes ahead and does it anyway then I think that this person is being very inconsiderate. There are not any good reasons that will justify such behavior. /Don -- "Ah yeees, when the ships were wood, and the men were steel." arpa: Wegeng.Henr@Xerox.ARPA csnet: Wegeng.Henr@Xerox.ARPA ns: Wegeng:Henr801C:Xerox uucp: dw@rocksvax.UUCP uucp: {allegra,amd,decvax!rochester,princeton}!rocksvax!dw uucp: ihnp4!tropix!ritcv!rocksvax!dw