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From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: loneliness
Message-ID: <169@tove.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Mar-85 16:14:43 EST
Article-I.D.: tove.169
Posted: Thu Mar 28 16:14:43 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 31-Mar-85 03:13:38 EST
References: <372@nmtvax.UUCP> <269@unm-la.UUCP>
Organization: U of Maryland, Laboratory for Parallel Computation, C.P., MD
Lines: 41

>    I think that most of us have felt that kind of deep down loneliness
> sometime in our lives. I can really relate to a feeling of loneliness
> that occurs even when other people are around. ...
> We all try to hide behind shells so as not to get hurt. But
> in doing so, we can't let anyone in to know who we are. At least that's
> why I get those lonely feelings.

I've certainly experienced similar feelings at various times.  However, I'm
not sure whether or not everyone experiences loneliness in the same way, or
for the same reasons.  I suspect people who are introverted are more likely
to fit your description than extroverts are.

Above, I mean "introverted" as it is measured by one of the scales on the
Meyers-Briggs personality test.  This is similar--but not exactly the
same--as what we normally mean by "introverted".  Basically, it means that
you "recharge your batteries" by being alone--as opposed to extroverts, who
get their energy from being with others.  Supposedly only about 25% of the
US population are introverts, and as a result, introverts may tend to grow
up thinking that maybe something's "wrong" with them because they aren't
like everybody else.

I have no good evidence for this, but I suspect that computer people are
more likely to be introverted than people in general.  Hacking is kind of a
solitary activity.

Speaking of which:  How many people on net.singles know their Meyers-Briggs
personality types?  Mine is INTP (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving).

>    BTW, I live in a small town too, so maybe there is a correlation.

I grew up in a small town.  I now live in a large metropolitan area.  I was
pretty lonely the first year or so that I was here--but now that I've been
here a few years I have developed a number of close friendships, and it
would be very difficult for me to leave.  I've had more success finding
people I can feel close to here than have had in small towns.  However, that
doesn't mean it would be the same for everyone else.
-- 
Dana S. Nau		    ARPA:   dsn@maryland
Computer Science Dept.	    CSNet:  dsn@umcp-cs
University of Maryland	    UUCP:   {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!dsn
College Park, MD 20742	    Phone:  (301) 454-7932