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Path: utzoo!laura
From: laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Fitting into her life
Message-ID: <5432@utzoo.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 6-Apr-85 12:08:09 EST
Article-I.D.: utzoo.5432
Posted: Sat Apr  6 12:08:09 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 6-Apr-85 12:08:09 EST
References: <248@moncol.UUCP>
Organization: U of Toronto Zoology
Lines: 29

Yow *are* a lower priority task in her life. You fit below schoolwork and
below going out with her girlfriends. You are not satisfied with this.
This is your problem.

Obviously, you are going to have to discuss it with her.

It sounds like (but I could be wrong, netnews being a fairly low bandwidth
communication) you want some moral backing. Something akin to ``yes, she is
a slug for treating me this way'' that you can use to djustify talking to
her about it or ``no you are being a slug'' to justify your shutting up and
not saying anything and putting up with this thing.

Both of these approaches miss the real problem -- you are upset about this.
Who is right and who is wrong is secondary to the fact that you are unhappy
and have aproblem that needs to be dealt with. Talk to her. Tell her how
you feel. Try not to sound like ``oh I am the most miserable scum of the
earth for feeling so insecure and jealous'' or ``oh you are obligated to
live your life for my sake to keep me from feeling so justifiably rotten''.
If you are overly jealous/insecure then you aren't going to be able to
will yourself out of it simply because you want to -- at least by a week
next thursday. If she is insensitive, she is not going to change radically
by a week next thursday either. 

Remember that you have to come up with a solution that both of you can live
with (even if it is splitting up) rather than one that your friends can
approve of. 

Laura Creighton
utzoo!laura