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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!uwvax!uwai!luner
From: luner@uwai.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Fitting into her life
Message-ID: <191@uwai.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 7-Apr-85 17:05:50 EST
Article-I.D.: uwai.191
Posted: Sun Apr  7 17:05:50 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 9-Apr-85 01:10:30 EST
References: <248@moncol.UUCP>
Organization: U of Wisconsin CS Dept
Lines: 23

...moncol!john writes:

> ... What I have trouble with is the following:
> 
>    I know that I am relatively new in her life, but I still think I deserve
> a bit better. I feel as though she has not yet "fit me into" her life.
> Instead I feel like a low priority task which can be shelved when something
> else comes along. (Did it ever occur to her that maybe I'd like to have
> come along?)

I recall a (psych) journal article noting that males, when involved in a
relationship tend to restrict their social contact just to that relationship.
[In English: When males are dating, there is a tendency to stop all other
 social activity.]

I have noticed this in others, as well as in myself. Females, on the other
hand, maintain a more robust social life. Perhaps, then, it is not that you
are a "low priority task" but that she is a higher priority task for you than
you are for her. Now, this may or may not be a problem. You (plural) have to
talk about it. Failure to discuss this will result in your resenting her 
and this, clearly, is not good for any relationship.

						/DLL