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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!umcp-cs!tove!dsn
From: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Fitting into her life
Message-ID: <181@tove.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 8-Apr-85 12:07:30 EST
Article-I.D.: tove.181
Posted: Mon Apr  8 12:07:30 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 10-Apr-85 00:01:38 EST
References: <248@moncol.UUCP> <5432@utzoo.UUCP>
Reply-To: dsn@tove.UUCP (Dana S. Nau)
Organization: U of Maryland, Laboratory for Parallel Computation, C.P., MD
Lines: 21

In article <5432@utzoo.UUCP> laura@utzoo.UUCP (Laura Creighton) writes:

>...Both of these approaches miss the real problem -- you are upset about this.
>Who is right and who is wrong is secondary to the fact that you are unhappy
>and have aproblem that needs to be dealt with. Talk to her. Tell her how
>you feel. Try not to sound like ``oh I am the most miserable scum of the
>earth for feeling so insecure and jealous'' or ``oh you are obligated to
>live your life for my sake to keep me from feeling so justifiably rotten''.
>...
>Remember that you have to come up with a solution that both of you can live
>with (even if it is splitting up) rather than one that your friends can
>approve of. 

I liked the insights you expressed in your posting.  moncol!john's situation
strikes me as somewhat similar to what I was talking about in my postings
about dependence and independence, but you said it better than I could have.

-- 
Dana S. Nau,  Computer Science Dept.,  U. of Maryland,  College Park, MD 20742
ARPA:  dsn@maryland				CSNet:  dsn@umcp-cs
UUCP:  {seismo,allegra,brl-bmd}!umcp-cs!dsn	Phone:  (301) 454-7932