Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site digi-g.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!stolaf!umn-cs!digi-g!brian From: brian@digi-g.UUCP (Merlyn Leroy) Newsgroups: net.games Subject: Re: Real Men Message-ID: <541@digi-g.UUCP> Date: Wed, 3-Apr-85 13:09:50 EST Article-I.D.: digi-g.541 Posted: Wed Apr 3 13:09:50 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 6-Apr-85 02:28:11 EST References: <5883@ucbvax.ARPA> Reply-To: brian@digi-g.UUCP (brian) Distribution: net Organization: Digigraphic Systems Corp., Mpls, MN Lines: 55 Summary: I have nothing to do right now, so, in the same vein.... Traps: Real Men aren't afraid of traps Real Role-players search for traps Loonies use rings of detect traps so they can jump into them on purpose Munchkins fall into traps and forget to map them, so on the way back... Armor: Real Men wear plate armor Real Role-players wear Dwarven chainmail Loonies wear horse barding Munchkins wear +10 rustproof plate armor and seven layers of magic cloaks Helmets: Real Men wear ordinary helmets Real Role-players wear helms of telepathy Loonies wear helms of blindness in case they run into a basilisk Munchkins wear two (more plusses that way) Boots: Real Men wear Boots of Stomping Real Role-players wear Boots of Stealth Loonies wear Boots of Happy Feet Munchkins wear ruby slippers Gloves/Gauntlets: Real Men fight barehanded Real Role-players wear Gauntlets of Ogre Power Loonies wear Glove of Michael Jackson Charisma Munchkins wear gloves that still let them put rings on & off Shields: Real Men don't use shields (can't use two-handers) Real Role-players use large shields Loonies use panty shields Munchkins don't get the previous joke Favorite battle story: Real Men: "There I was, surrounded by orcs! I slice into the closest one with my two-hander and try to back my way to the door..." Real Role-players: "There we were, surrounded by Ogres! The two fighters get back-to-back and start swinging, I sleep the closest one, and the thief/archer climbs a tree and gets his bow out..." Loonies: "There we were, surrounded by mutant lobsters! Fred throws a Circle of Fire spell, I summon a Water Elemental, Curly gets out the nutcrackers, and Frobozz wishes for a vat of melted butter..." Munchkins: "There I was, surrounded by ancient red dragons..." ------------ Merlyn Leroy "...a dimension between shallow and substance, between science and superficial, a place we call...The Usenet Zone"