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From: mathnews@watdcsu.UUCP (mathNEWS)
Newsgroups: net.jokes,net.politics
Subject: How To Tell Republicans from Democrats (longish)
Message-ID: <1173@watdcsu.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 27-Mar-85 15:27:44 EST
Article-I.D.: watdcsu.1173
Posted: Wed Mar 27 15:27:44 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 28-Mar-85 01:48:19 EST
Reply-To: mathnews@watdcsu.UUCP (mathNEWS)
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 62
Xref: watmath net.jokes:11555 net.politics:8252

From _The Official Rules_, compiled by Paul Dickson

 o Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
   Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

 o Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the
   USA.  The remainder is thrown out.

 o Republicans usually wear hats and almost always clean their paint
   brushes.

 o Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate.
   Republicans wear theirs.

 o Republicans employ exterminators.  Democrats step on the bugs.

 o Democrats name their children after currently popular sports
   figures, politicians and entertainers.  Republican children 
   are named after their parents or grandparents, according to
   where the money is.

 o Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not
   successful.  Neither are Republicans.

 o Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is
   seldom any reason why they should.  Democrats ought to, but don't.

 o Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.
   Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.

 o Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car
   windows by Democrats.

 o Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians and eyebrows.
   Democrats raise Airedales, kids and taxes.

 o Democrats eat the fish they catch.  Republicans hang them on the wall.

 o Republican boys date Democratic girls.  They plan to marry
   Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.

 o Democrats make up plans and then do something else.
   Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

 o Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms.
   That is why there are more Democrats.

(Document submitted and published in the _Congressional Record_,
October 1, 1974, by Rep. Craig Hosmer [R-CA].  Hosmer said that the
author chose to remain anonymous.)

                                           regards,
                                                 dwarf

-- 
"Damn the integrals, full speed ahead!"

mathNEWS--the math student newspaper at the University of Waterloo

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