Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 UW 5/3/83; site uw-june
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!mcnc!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!gordon
From: gordon@uw-june (Gordon Davisson)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: Ambiguous advertising slogans (& father goose stories)
Message-ID: <73@uw-june>
Date: Mon, 8-Apr-85 20:30:06 EST
Article-I.D.: uw-june.73
Posted: Mon Apr  8 20:30:06 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 11-Apr-85 01:10:51 EST
References: <427@panda.UUCP> <384@talcott.UUCP> <170@ucbcad.UUCP>
Organization: U of Washington Computer Science
Lines: 65

The University of Washington Daily (a newspaper) has an (intentionally)
ambiguous slogan: "The Daily: where accuracy is a slogan." (rather than
a policy)

As long as we're somewhere near the subject, the following appeared in
the letters column of last friday's Daily.

: Editor:
:       Three guys, one from Russia, one from Czechoslovakia and one from
: Poland, are in Canada for a conference.  They decide to take advantage
: of their rare visit by doing something that people do when they're in
: Canada.
:       The Canadian diplomats suggest a camping trip, and, ignoring the
: forest rangers' warnings of recent bear sightings in the area they plan 
: to visit, the three travelers set off.
:       Three days later, the men are long overdue.  The Canadian forest
: service dispatches a search party to the ares, and sure enough, they
: discover a ravaged and deserted campsite and three bloated bears lying
: dead a few yards away -- two she-bears and a he-bear.
:       One of the team is sent forward to investigate, and he promptly
: knifes open the two females.  Just as he had feared, the Russian and the
: Pole are inside, and the ranger returns to his companions and reports 
: his findings.
:       "What about the third guy?" asks one of the team members.
:       "Oh," replies the first nonchalantly, "the Czech's in the male."
:
:                                         Friz Poge

[from werner@aecom's "Canonical Father Goose" posting]
>                                          ... several people posted punch
> lines and asked for the accompanying stories.
...
> From: cliff@unmvax.UUCP (Cliff @ Univ. of New Mexico, Albuquerque)
> How about:
> Oppornockity tunes but once

[back to the Daily's letter column]
:       This guy has a piano that's badly out of tune, and he hits the
: classified ads in search of a professional piano tuner.  He's in luck!
: There happens to be a piano tuner in the neighborhood -- a greek fellow
: named Opporknockity.
:       A mere phone call, and soon Opporknockity strides purposefully
: into the man's apartment and heads straight for the Steinway in the
: corner of the living room.  Opporknockity is evidently a sensitive,
: eccentric craftsman, because it is five hours before he emerges, 
: supremely confident.
:       After thanking his savior profusely and tipping him in generous
: addition to his already-steep bill, the man ushers out his distinguished
: guest and trots over to his beloved instrument.
:       But what's this?  WHAT?  This piano is, if anything, more of a
: clunker now than before this quack started fooling with it.  Fuming, the
: man calls the number in the newspaper ad and, after cursing through six
: rings, this imposter of a piano tuner comes on the line.
:       "You can jolly well get your butt over here and get it right!  For
: free!" the victim shouts.
:       "I am sorry, sir," replies the accused haughtily, "but if you had
: read the advertisement carefully, you would have noted that Opporknockity
: tunes but once."
:
:                                         Friz Poge

--
Human:    Gordon Davisson
ARPA:     gordon@uw-june.ARPA
UUCP:     {ihnp4,decvax,tektronix}!uw-beaver!uw-june!gordon