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From: jay@npois.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes.d
Subject: re wanted snake jokes
Message-ID: <258@npois.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Mar-85 09:28:04 EST
Article-I.D.: npois.258
Posted: Thu Mar 28 09:28:04 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 5-Apr-85 07:11:27 EST
Organization: ATTIS, Neptune, NJ
Lines: 35


	A joke that I first heard in 1971, but I'm sure it's much older
than that, is a shaggy dog story about Noah trying to convince some
snakes to be fruitful. They were successful only after he constructed
a large platform of tree trunks. Thus proving that "Given a log table,
even adders can multiply."  
	This joke has been on the net many times, hence it is here in
jokes.d.

	Also there are a few clever comments about snakes in Jean Kerr's
book, "The Snake has all the Lines". The title anecdote concerns her
daughters complaint about playing eve in a school play about creation.

	If you are really desperate, you could take some generic jokes
and use snakes as the optional subject. i.e How do you make a snake
float?  Two scoops of ice cream, a pint of soda, and a snake. Why did the
snake cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken. How many snakes does
it take to change a light bulb? None, as house hold chores go, they seem to
prefere unclogging drains. What did Tarzan say when he saw the snakes
wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

	I seem to recall another old snake joke about two guys that were
camping, and while they were asleep, one was bitten in the leg by a poisonous
snake. His friend did the right thing, and sucked the venom out of the wound.
They went back to sleep, and the other one was bitten by a similar snake, but
he was bitten on some external reproductive organ that men are known to have.
His friend made all the funeral arrangements.

	If you read the comic strip B.C., there are a lot of snake jokes
there, though mostly visual. Most pertain to the snakes battles with
the Fat Broad.

	I am sure that there are gobs of snake jokes, but if you ask me,
they won't be they way to win the heart of your exotic dancer.