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From: greg@ncr-tp.UUCP (Greg Noel)
Newsgroups: net.flame,net.misc
Subject: Re: STUPID PEOPLE'S COURT: The case of Outraged English Majors VS. The Net
Message-ID: <147@ncr-tp.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Mar-85 21:15:51 EST
Article-I.D.: ncr-tp.147
Posted: Thu Mar 28 21:15:51 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 31-Mar-85 03:03:06 EST
References: <468@vax2.fluke.UUCP>
Reply-To: greg@ncr-tp.UUCP (Greg Noel)
Organization: NCR Corporation, Torrey Pines
Lines: 30
Xref: watmath net.flame:9033 net.misc:7702

In article <468@vax2.fluke.UUCP> moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Judge Moriarty
	Wapner) writes:
>JUDGE MW:  Could someone take Adrian out for his walkies?  And Mr.
>Arndt, please restrain you're [sic] child from using that M-16.... 

This isn't really aimed at Wapner; consider it general information that
the younger generation was not taught in elementary grammar in the
third grade -- a casualty of "progressive" education.

It is incredibly easy to use the apostrophe correctly if you realize
that it indicates that something was elided.  (For the Philistines,
"elided" means "left out".)  Thus, "you're" ==> "you are" with the `a'
left out and the two words run together.  The sentance above expands
into "please restrain you are child...." which doesn't make a lot of
sense (unless he is accusing Mr. Arndt of being a child, which may
be possible....).

This rule holds for ALL uses of the apostrophe in English: "it's" ==>
"it is" (or sometimes "it has"), "they're" ==> "they are", and "don't"
==> "do not".  (Nobody else is old enough to remember when "o'clock"
was "of the clock" and the possesive "'s" meant "his" (as in "Mars his
sword" in Shakespeare his sonnet).)  When you write something, all you
have to do is ask yourself if the sentance makes sense with the expanded
form -- if so, you are using the form correctly.

(Female chauvanists will point out that it doesn't make sense to expand
"Mary's flowers" into "Mary his flowers", but that's (==> "that is") how
the possesive form started.  Think of it as evolution in action.)
-- 
-- Greg Noel, NCR Torrey Pines       Greg@ncr-tp.UUCP or Greg@nosc.ARPA