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From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison )
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: I can't take it anymore
Message-ID: <5261@tektronix.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 29-Mar-85 17:02:00 EST
Article-I.D.: tektroni.5261
Posted: Fri Mar 29 17:02:00 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 31-Mar-85 04:09:52 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 84


(aaargh!)

>> I think the women that are picking at their food on dates are in a
>> double bind.  On the one hand, they're trying to meet *your* expectations
>> and on the other hand, they're trying to meet society's (read *men's*)
>> expectations of women to be slender.
>> Barbara Zanzig

> We men have more than a few faults, but that one's fictitious.  A university
> study widely reported lately that women very commonly think they're too
> fat, while men's self-image is that "I'm perfect.
> John Purbrick

*** FLAME ON ***
I cannot believe the assinine quality of articles I'm seeing lately, and
John, nothing personal, but yours is the proverbial straw.

First,  we have some JERK saying that "girl" is an appropriate term for
a female who is young  enough (ie not heavy or wrinkled) to be sexually
attractive.  After all, "who shops the women's department at Sears?"  

Well, *I* shop women's departments (though NOT at Sears :-), and while 
I am over 30, neither my age nor my weight negate the fact that I'm
a beautiful, sexy *woman*.   

Then we get a guy who complains that his dates don't have the appetite of
a college halfback, so that when they order Chateaubriand, they don't
eat it all.  He hates to see food go to waste.  Perhaps he'd rather
see it go to waist?   Or we are to be satisfied with the paltry excuse
more restaurants have for a dinner salad?  *My* point of view is that
if I am not hungry, the food is not nourishing me, and I'd rather put
it in a garbage can than have to carry it on my hips :-).  

*** FLAME OFF ***   (for now)

Through a somewhat incredible mindshift, I have become a naturally thin
person.  What this means is that I eat only when my naturally thin body is
hungry, I eat *exactly* what I want, I eat and *enjoy* each bite 
consciously, AND I stop eating when my naturally thin body is no longer
hungry.   What I have found is that when I eat exactly what I want,
it doesn't usually take a lot to satisfy me.  And when I'm eating
and enjoying each bite consciously, I know when my body is no longer
hungry, and when my body isn't hungry, it's very difficult to enjoy
eating.   I'm too much in touch with the discomfort of being overfull.
Another thing that was interesting for me to discover is that when I'm
in upset, my body usually doesn't get hungry.  Emotional hunger
and physical hunger don't often coexist for me.

So, sometimes, I go out to dinner with a friend, and he orders the 
whole dinner, and I order a baked potato with sour cream and butter
and bacon bits, and he says things like "strange diet you're on",
and I just shrug my shoulders, and explain to him that I'm not on
a diet, and when I push the plate away 3/4 through the potato, he says
"sure looks like a diet to me".   (Then a couple days later, we'll go
out for Hunan, and I'm ravenous and eat two plates full, and he
believes me :-).

*** FLAME ON ***

NOW, we have John, who it seems thinks that women's ideas about
having perfect bodies is something that is carried on the "X"
chromosome, or something,  since it doesn't come from societal
pressures.  So, I guess all those Diet Pepsi ads, and hype about
role models like Brooke Shields and Christie Brinkley  has nothing
to do with  women feeling insecure about their bodies.  Come on,
Madison Avenue (got it right, this time!)  fosters those images,
so they can sell us things that will make us feel better about 
them.....and well, most of you have heard my harangue on this
one before, so I won't bore you with it again.

*** FLAME OFF ***

I'm not saying that it is something we can't help feeling, because
of these pressures.  And I think it is important for us to acknowledge
that the outside pressures are there;  that we need to develop other
than an adversarial relationship with our bodies in order to feel
good about them and enjoy them.

Moira Mallison

ucbvax!ucbernie!mallison		this is where I really am
	--or--
tektroix!moiram				this works too