Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site sdcc13.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!sdcsvax!sdcc3!sdcc13!ee163ahe From: ee163ahe@sdcc13.UUCP (VICTOR ROMANO) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Dates not eating and m/f body image Message-ID: <187@sdcc13.UUCP> Date: Mon, 1-Apr-85 16:24:48 EST Article-I.D.: sdcc13.187 Posted: Mon Apr 1 16:24:48 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 3-Apr-85 01:41:46 EST References: <475@spp2.UUCP> <> <255@lasspvax.UUCP> <174@tektools.UUCP> <2342@mit-hermes.ARPA> Reply-To: ee163ahe@sdcc13.UUCP (VICTOR ROMANO) Organization: U.C. San Diego, Academic Computer Center Lines: 69 Summary: In article <2342@mit-hermes.ARPA> jpexg@mit-hermes.ARPA (John Purbrick) writes: >> I think the women that are picking at their food on dates are in a >> double bind. On the one hand, they're trying to meet *your* expectations >> and on the other hand, they're trying to meet society's (read *men's*) >> expectations of women to be slender. >> Barbara Zanzig > >We men have more than a few faults, but that one's fictitious. A university >study widely reported lately found that women very commonly think they're too >fat, while men's self-image is that "I'm perfect". But the men are much less >choosy about women's bodies than women are. I don't recall what women think >about men. > >What would the world be like if women were less self-doubting and men more so? Let me expand on this. First of all, let me set it straight that men are also insecure about their bodies as well (I am, for instance), and men do not have this "I'm perfect" complex. I believe that it is true what John says about man being so choosy. Of *all* my male friends, and most of the other males I know (sure, I've seen a few who contradict this; I'm not counting them, for I have observed that they do not make up a majority) do not seem to like females for their bodies. Sometimes you will hear a man comment that he sees a particularly attractive women, and maybe even talk a little crudely, like "Boy, I'd like to *** her ***" or whatever. I have also heard women (if not more women than men, at this institution where women are less common) do this, too! A also see nothing wrong with anyone expressing his sexual desires, as long as (s)he keeps it from being offensive. I have also observed that these same men usually date women of all sorts, some attractive in my opinion and some not, and sometimes they will find that women attractive when I don't. The women I date, other men sometimes don't find attractive, either. What I am saying is the old common cliche that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have also found that I can find a women more attractive after I know her better, just because of her personality/compatibility with me. I have also found *many* women who well call themselves ugly when they are actually attractive. This is not unusual, because many men do this too. But what bothers me is women who claim they are overweight, when they seem so slender! Then, they believe that society (i. e. men) "pressure" women to be too thin (I think Barbara Z. falls into this category). Well, those women are wrong. They pressure themselves! Just look at all these women's magazines they buy. Most of the models are very slender. Women then take these as the example of the "perfect" women, just because a *few select* men who publish these magazines find such women attractive. Well, I say those women ought to get their heads out of the magazines and look at the real world! There are plenty of men out there who like not-so-slender women. Incidently, I have been told by some of my friends that I tend to be attracted to "overweight" women (I couldn't find a better word. I mean women who have more fat than average). One of those friends, admittedly, chooses the same variety. Victor Romano What's that sound? What sound? Is it the piper? Do you mean Syd? No, I mean Dave. -------------------------------------- Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory? Rip of their mask and let's see. But that's not right. Oh no! What's the story? There's you and there's me! (That couldn't be right) -ST