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From: thoma@reed.UUCP (Ann Muir Thomas)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: reply to victor's posting
Message-ID: <1268@reed.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 6-Apr-85 17:44:10 EST
Article-I.D.: reed.1268
Posted: Sat Apr  6 17:44:10 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 8-Apr-85 01:31:44 EST
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 57

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I'd like to reply to some of the comments made by V. Romano recently.
Since I'm still learning to use vi, I couldn't 'R' to them directly.

Anyway...
He says, "Let me get it straight that men are also insecure about
          their bodies...and men do not have this 'I'm perfect.'
	  complex."
In my own experience, men *project* a higher value of themselves to
others, especially to women. The men/boys I've been involved with did
have problems, including self-image problems, that I didn't know
about until the relationship had been going on for a while. Even the
one who I wa close friends with for 5 years before actually getting
into a relationship with had "a few tricks up his sleeve" that I
didn't know about until we started spending a lot of time together.
(sorry about the grammar; I'm tired!!! :-)
He says, "They believe that society (i.e. men) 'pressure' women to
	be too thin...Well, these women are wrong. They pressure
	themselves!"
Right, but I tink it's sources of pressure we're talking about here.

He says, "Just look at all those women's magazines they buy."

Victor, I don't buy them!

He says, "Most of the models are very slender. Women then take these
	as the examples of 'perfect' women, just because a *few
	select* men who publish these magazines find such women
	attractive."

Someone who worked for my father had a model-thin roommate (i.e. 
5' 4" and about 90-95 lbs) and she said that this very thin person
looked very strange in the nude. I can see why men might want to date
someone who has a little flesh on her bones!....Those "few select men"
are more ubiquitous than you think, Victor; note how many of the men
in this group list "not fat" as a qualification for a SO! They
probably have different ideas about who is fat, but I'd still like to
know just what it is about a "fat" woman that is so abhorrent to them.
WOMEN AREN'T CAUSING THOSE MEN TO ABHOR FAT WOMEN!!!!

OK....I'm not saying that anybody is particularly wrong for not
liking "fat" women. But as Victor has indirectly pointed out, the
things that women do to themselves because they are afraid of being
fat are simply horrible. Like starving themselves to death, forcing
themselves to vomit, spending billions (yes, billions!) of dollars in
the quest for the perfect diet, etc. etc.
I'm overweight; I'm not gonna lie about it. The phrase "I'm too fat
got planted in my head when I wasn't overweight, by my doctor, my
parents, and other people my age. And I reacted to it...my self-image
still isn't very good but it's getting better. But it wasn't until I
thought that I was fat that I put on a lot of weight. It's a double-
bind for all involved....

					Ann Muir Thomas
				tektronix!reed!thoma

"I'll be mellow when I'm dead!"-weird Al via Tony F.